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“Having a good day Alex?” I finally said, my voice breaking a bit. He jumped. Water out of the glass he was washing, splashed all over his naked front. Fuuuuck... Water was dripping down his God-like torso, and I just wanted to lick him. Since when do I have filthy thoughts about... well... anyone?

If I wasn’t on the verge of tears after signing the papers, this view would have made me horny. But when he looked at me, my eyes started stinging. I felt I was about to break.

“Sam you are back! How did the lawyer thing go? Oh! Sam. Are you ok?” He wiped himself with a dishtowel and rounded the kitchen island, coming to stand right in front of me, “Come here.” He wrapped me up in one of his warm hugs, that I had had the pleasure of experiencing before.

I didn’t fight it. I let go and wrapped my arms around his naked waist. I was not sobbing but tears were falling on their own. One of his arms was covering my whole back and the other one was cradling the side of my face. Nudging my face so I would look up at him. “Aw Pup. Those sad eyes are killing me. Come over here to the couch.” He whispered it in his low deep voice.

Pup? Had I misheard that? He let go of me, and I felt like he let go too soon. I let out a little needy whine because I didn't want him to let go yet. But I didn't think he would hear it.

“You really are like a little puppy, don’t worry I got you. Let's just get you comfortable first.” He enveloped my hand with his giant calloused one, and I felt better instantly.

I shouldn’t allow myself to need another person again. I made that mistake with Kyle before. But I couldn't help it. Alex made me feel safe and had done since the day of the funeral.

He took care of me. I couldn’t see a universe in which Alex would be like Kyle.

So I followed him to the couch, still crying. He sat down first and pulled me on top of him, so that I straddled his lap. I melted into his massive body. When he wrapped his arms around me I stiffened. It was a vulnerable position, maybe that's why I suddenly felt triggered.

His breath hitched, “Sorry Sam, I should have asked if this was ok!” He set his arms at his sides. God. I was such an idiot. Of course it was fine… get a grip Sam. I told myself in my head. I needed his arms back where they were. So I grew a pair of balls, took his arms and wrapped them back around me. His chest rumbled with a laugh; like a bear purring. His hand found its way back up to my hair, and he proceeded to brush his fingers through it. My eyes rolled back in my head.

I let out a relieved sigh, my crying slowed down till just a few tears escaped on their own. “Thank you.” I murmured into his chest, “I didn’t know this would hit me so hard. I feel like I blacked out since the funeral. You moving in was a welcomed distraction. But today brought me back to reality”.

He grumbled an ‘Mmm’ while still holding me. “Don’t thank me Sam. I want to be here for you. I... Like you. You are a good guy, I feel it.” He confessed, making my chest feel warm.

“You are just saying that because of my cooking.” I smiled, face still hidden in his chest.

“I can’t deny it. I don’t think I will be able to eat anything if it’s not made by you anymore. You ruined all the other food for me.” Cracking a joke and making us both laugh.

“Um… Pup? You called me Pup earlier.” I sheepishly asked.

“Ah, yes. Well, it’s your eyes. The first time we met if you remember? When you ran out of this house like something was chasing you. You looked like a scared lost puppy. Big sad, scared eyes. So… Pup. I am sorry I won't say it again.” Warmth spread through my chest at his words.

“It’s kinda cute. I can get used to that. And...this.” Gesturing with my hand, at me sitting on top of him.

“What? The cuddles? It’s my favorite thing. I haven’t had any in years. My wife... My ex-wife used to laugh at me and tell me to man up whenever I asked for a cuddle before we went to sleep.” He looked down, and let out a self-deprecating sigh.

I lift my head to look at him. Determined to make him see how serious I was. “That bitch! You poor thing… No Alex, that's horrible. Cuddling has nothing to do with gender or age. I too didn’t get any affection from my ex partner and I missed it too.”

He grabbed the side of my face and said, “Does this mean we are cuddle buddies now?” His tone was hopeful.

“Yes Alex. Cuddle buddies, I like that.” I spoke quietly, wiping tears from earlier off my face.

“I’ll take you up on that, for when we are watching TV shows ” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“I’d love that.” I said, smiling back at him.

After I untangled myself from Alex, we continued what he started earlier. Doing the dishes and tidying up the house. It was crazy how comfortable we were with each other. Aside from how attractive he was, he was turning out to be the friend I always dreamed of having. I was surprised at how fast I began to trust him, how quickly I felt comfortable around him. Miss Jenny may have been right. We could be good for each other, while we are both dealing with shit.

CHAPTER 28

ALEX

After our breakfast, I felt better about the night before. There wasn't any awkwardness at all. I was relieved because I was getting quite fond of him, plus I had just moved in. We definitely broke the ice with our chat that morning and I surprised myself by opening up to him about my new found sexuality, and I was so glad I did.

After he left, I went over to the guy’s house, to hang out for a bit. We did our usual, sat around in their living room and talked about work and shit, just existing. It's one of my favorite things to do. Later I went back to Sam's place. Well, now my place too.

There were dishes from the breakfast to be washed, so I wanted to clean it all before Sam came home, as he was nice enough to make all that yummy food to feed me. Again, he barely ate anything. I didn't like that, my natural carer personality wouldn’t let me ignore it. His lack of appetite was on my mind, especially since that comment Miss Jenny made.

I got into the groove of cleaning, singing random country songs, dancing and washing dishes. That was probably the reason I hadn’t heard Sam come in. He scared the living shit out of me, and I spilled a glass full of water all over myself.