Page 54 of Sorry

“It was a little bit weird at first when I tried it alone, but with Sam it feels incredible. Why?” I asked quietly, trying to respect the fact he didn't want Matt to hear.

“No reason, just curious.” His cheeks went up in flames. I would not press him for it.

“Okay. I don’t have a problem answering any questions you have. If you need to talk about anything, I’m here. You know that right?” I squeezed his shoulder once.

He looked at me and averted his gaze with a small smile then nodded. “Thanks man” then he shook it off, and changed back into the rambunctious Jake I knew running towards Matt to jump on him, piggybacking towards ‘Snack & Brew’.

“Miss Jenny, I want to make a gift box for Sam with his favorite blends, and do you know where I can buy a nice teapot and a cup to go in the box?” We sat inside at one of the tables, having a quick coffee before we went home.

“Oh isn’t that lovely of you Alex. I have beautiful ones for sale over there in the corner in the glass display. Go pick something and I will give you a family discount.” She replied, pointing to the back of the room.

My throat tightened, family. I really do have a family don’t I? Not blood, but just as real. Two brothers, something close to a mom or a granny in Miss Jenny and a boyfriend, who I was sure I would marry one day.

I found a perfect one! There was a beige teapot with two cups in a set, and all over it scattered were small blue flowers that reminded me of the ones he watered and talked to in the yard. I hoped he would love it. Miss Jenny packed up the pretty box, full of different kinds of teas and I had to admit they smelled amazing.

“Thank you so much Miss Jenny, Sam will love this.” I grinned at her.

“Of course he will, he is such a sweet boy.” she said sincerely.

As we were leaving ‘Snack & Brew’, some lunatic nearly swerved into the wrong lane and sped off in the car.

“WATCH IT ASSHOLE!” Jake shouted behind the car, ready for a fight.

“What an idiot! He is going to kill someone driving like that!” Matt exclaimed.

“Christ… Now that we avoided getting plowed by that car, do you guys want to come over? Sam and I have nothing planned. We could order something so Sam doesn’t have to cook and have a movie marathon.” I offered.

“Yeah man that sounds good. We have nothing planned for the evening.” Matt said.

Walking in through the bakery, I noticed paint footprints from the front door to the back door still wide open. What in the name of God… I jokingly shouted, “Pup! This paint will be a bitch to clean off the tiles, what have you been doing here?” I laughed walking to the back door, with Matt and Jake close behind me, giggling to each other.

When I got to the back door, the box I had been holding fell out of my hands and all the air rushed out from my lungs. Sam… My Sam was lying on the cardboard covered in paint… Paint and blood. So much blood, around and on his head. He was lying on his stomach, with his left arm twisted in an unnatural position behind him, with his right one near his face.

I let out a gut-wrenching scream, a sound I never thought I was capable of making and ran to him. I fell to my knees beside him, looking at his face. He was unrecognizable, his mouth open and jaw askew, blood coming out of his nose and mouth. He had so many open gashes on his swollen blue face.

I was sobbing, panicking. NO! FUUUUUUCK! Was this the work of his deranged ex? It had to be. I heard Jake on the phone calling 911. Matt was talking to someone but I didn’t know who, there was screaming and crying coming from somewhere. But I couldn't focus on anything other than Sam. I needed to check if he was breathing.

“Pup, Pup! Open your eyes for me baby, PLEASE BABY, PLEASE!” I carefully turned him on his back, his pulse was so weak, his breathing was so slow and wheezy. “Please stay with me baby. I love you. I shouldn't have left you alone!”

Time seemed to move in slow motion, Jake said an ambulance was two minutes away. I needed them to hurry the fuck up because he was getting worse. I had his head in my lap, kissing his bruised, beautiful face. Pleading with him to hold on, when something caught my eye. On the white board we were painting, in bright capital letters, written in the paint ‘SORRY’. Beside it and barely visible, the letter A.

Something between guttural growl and wail escaped my mouth, “You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. None of this is your fault. I should have been here to protect you. You and your incessant apologies… no more! Okay? Pup, no more apologies.” I was petting his gorgeous hair; that was now matted in paint and blood, when his breathing stopped.

I screamed, “NO! NO! NO! NO! BREATHE SAM, BREATHE. SAM! BREATHE FOR ME! PLEASE!”

I was getting ready to start CPR, when the ambulance crew burst in. Strong arms barely managed to wrestle me off him. Everything was a blur, people were talking, shouting. I saw nothing but him, laying lifeless on the ground.

CHAPTER 57

SAM

CHAPTER 58

ALEX

Hearing the heart machine flatline, had to be the worst thing I had ever experienced in my life. Until I saw paramedics perform CPR on Sam’s petite body. His chest caving in, with each thrust of their hands broke something inside of me that would never be put together again.

I was on the ground being held by Jake and Matt, I don’t remember much of what they told me apart from “He will be ok.” and “They got him now Alex, they will bring him back.”