Page 33 of Uncharted

His expression softened slightly, and he squeezed my wrist. “We’ve got a bit of time before the full force of the storm hits. So I’ll use that time to figure out if I can bury it or if I need to talk with him and put it on ice, and I’ll do that. Just make sure you’re doing the same.”

“I have to talk to Jake anyway,” I said with an uncomfortable smile. “You know how he gets right before things get intense.”

“Ah, right, his own storminess before the storm,” Mika said with a chuckle. “Well, that’s good enough for me. Don’t do anything stupid, alright?”

“Me? Never,” I said with a grin, and then the door to the science building opened, and Jake’s bulk filled the doorway.

For a moment, I completely forgot all about my worries as I looked at his grim expression. I remembered the feeling of his warm body next to mine as we lay under the stars, talking about whatever the hell we wanted to at our own pace. I even remembered the contentment that had filled me after we’d both gotten off and before the thoughts had kicked in. How I felt for those precious few seconds where I realized I couldn’t recall the last time I had felt so content and comfortable after having sex.

Then Jake’s eyes met mine, and my heart thumped heavily. Mika glanced over, smiling and patting Jake on the shoulder as he inched past the bigger man to get out. The door closed with a final click. I was left standing there with Jake, and I realized I didn’t know what in the world I should say to him.

Sorry I’ve been treating you like you did something wrong when you didn’t? Sorry for avoiding you because my head can’t decide how it feels? Sorry that you’re my non-related best friend and I want you in my life, but the idea of having something more than friendship between us was the most tempting and most terrifying thing?

“Who asked you to talk to me?” he grunted, looking down at his mud-spattered clothes. “Cait?”

“Colin,” I said, and when he grunted in acknowledgement, I sighed. “And I would have come to find you on my own.”

“Yeah?” he asked, eyes meeting mine and I could see doubt but hope as well. “Sure about that?”

“Jake,” I began, then stopped because I had no idea what I wanted to say.

“It’s fine,” he said with a shrug, eyes back on the floor. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” I said and smiled when he scowled. “Look, I know I’m being weird as fuck right now, but I haven’t magically forgotten how it works, okay? Big thing like this looming over us, and you retreat into your head and you⁠—”

“Have always got out of my head and done what needs to be done,” he finished evenly. “You don’t have to check up on me.”

“Fine, sure. I don’t have to,” I said, feeling a little more comfortable in my skin and in the conversation. “But I want to. And you’re the one who told me you feel better about it when we talk, so⁠—”

I thought for a minute he might continue to protest, but it died away as he continued to stare at the floor. My poncho crinkled as I pulled it off and pulled out a stool to sit down and turn toward my workstation. There was nothing pressing that needed my attention, but Jake would need a while to get his head working enough to decide what he wanted to say and what he wanted to talk to me about.

I was busy looking over soil samples when I heard the soft thump of his boots on the floor, and I almost smiled. Jake was huge and heavy, but when he wasn’t thinking about his steps consciously, he was practically silent. That he was making noise meant he wanted me to know he was approaching me. Maybe it was so I didn’t get startled, or maybe he was giving me the chance to stop him before he got too close.

Ahh, how my heart squeezed at the thought of the big, loud, infinitely caring man.

“You had better not hug me while you’re in that poncho or I’m pouring mud into your dresser,” I warned him as I pushed an outdated sample back into the rack.

“How’d you know?” he wondered.

How familiar the whole thing was, and how strange at the same time. Everything was different and nothing was. I wanted it to continue to change, and I wanted it to stay the same.

“Because I know you,” I said with a smile, jotting a shorthand note on a scrap of paper to check the records of the readings I’d taken last month. I’d been forgetting to do my comparisons. Not that I was required to, there were others who checked on the composition of the soil and plants, but I liked having my finger on the pulse.

There was a crinkle of his poncho, then I felt his presence standing behind me. I put in the effort to keep myself from doing anything more than fiddling with my notes rather than tensing up like my body wanted to. I didn’t know if it was apprehension or anticipation, but I could still feel my muscles trying to tense up. And whatever weird, jumbled shit was going on in my head, there was no way I was going to let it get in the way of knowing Jake needed something from me.

Sure enough, he bent down and his arms fell loosely around my own, hands resting against my stomach, his head on my shoulder, chin digging in a little. He took a deep breath, and although I didn’t dare turn my head like I might have any other time, I could imagine his eyes closing as he breathed deeply. He’d done it before, and I’d never had reason to wonder; I now wondered if he was taking in the smell of me.

He huffed lightly. “You didn’t shower this morning like ya usually do.”

“Huh?” I asked, startled at how close he was to picking up on my thoughts.

“Your shampoo is strong; if you’ve showered in the past few hours, ya smell of it. Ya just smell like…rain and dirt right now,” he said. “No moss this time.”

“I smell like moss?” I asked, the unease of his prescience outweighed by my curiosity.

“You’re always out there, sitting all over the place, and it’s usually mossy,” he said with a chuckle.

“You notice the most random things,” I said with a shake of my head.