Page 34 of Uncharted

I knew what the next step was, just like he knew, but it was Jake. He wasn’t going to do anything but stay right where he was, taking what he could get, and letting me decide what I was going to do. And because it was Jake I was dealing with, there was no way I wasn’t going to take the next step.

I turned my head and I hurt a little to see him tilt his head back, probably out of respect for me. At least that way he didn’t look like a cyclops from being too close to my face, and I was left to stare into his dark green eyes. There was a softness in his stare that I didn’t remember, and I wondered if it had always been there or if, because of recent events, it was there now.

“I’m okay,” he said softly, and I felt the tickle of his breath on my neck.

Nerves that I had never felt around him before came to life as he stood behind me. The tickle of his breath turned into a tingle that made the jump from throat to groin. It was a faint thing, just a whisper of promise, a tease of pleasure, and then it was gone. All that was left was the sudden, sharp awareness of his hands on my stomach, scant inches from my groin.

“You usually are,” I said with a smile, trying to focus on the moment rather than the thoughts…on what Jake needed, not my own…indecision?

Was it indecision?

“You know how it goes,” he said, repeating my words back to me, and I nodded, waiting for the rest because it always came. “I think about the times when…I needed to be on my best game, when I needed to be…to be that guy, ya know?”

“I do,” I said, because I knew he put an excess of expectation on his shoulders when he didn’t need to. Or at least, I hadn’t heard the exact reasons why he did it because there was a story there I hadn’t heard, maybe two. “Or I know you think you do, anyway.”

“Y’all need me out there, so yeah, I gotta be that guy,” he said roughly, but there was no actual heat in his voice, no anger. Just resignation. “And I don’t want to screw up like I’ve done before. I don’t want…I can’t fail you guys.”

I tilted my head so I could see his expression more clearly. “And you won’t.”

“Ya don’t know that,” he said, but there was no force in his voice. “What if I do?”

“You know playing ‘what if’ is a fool’s game,” I said, smiling when he chuckled at hearing his father’s advice come out of my mouth. “The whole point of having a buddy is to have someone there to help if something goes wrong. And I’ll be there to back you up.”

“Somethin’ could get us both.”

“Then what’s the point of worrying about it? There would be nothing you could do about it at that point.”

“Right, right,” he said with a chuckle. “If you can do something, why worry? And if you can’t do anything, why worry?”

I smiled at him. “See, you got it. You always get there.”

“Eventually,” he said, his eyes softening again, and I felt his hands press against my stomach. “And ya were right, I get there quicker with help.”

“I do what I can,” I said as my stomach felt like it was flipping and twisting.

“Ya always know how to help me,” he said in a low voice, and I swear I felt one of his fingers twitch, like he was tempted to stroke my stomach but was holding back. “Never thought the day I met ya would be one of the best things that could happen to me, but I’m glad.”

I saw his eyes flick down, and a rush of heat passed through me when I realized he was looking at my lips. His gaze moved back, but I saw the skin tighten around his eyes; he had clearly understood that I had seen where he looked. Then his eyes dropped to my shoulder, and I could see his lips thinning, his returning good spirits dwindling…and it was my fault.

“Jake,” I said softly.

“I know,” he said, and I felt him draw away.

“You don’t,” I said, putting my hand over his long enough to keep him from pulling away before turning to face him. “I’m sorry, okay? I really am. I know I’ve been weird lately, and I know I should have talked to you sooner.”

“Stop,” he said with more force, and I felt myself obey immediately. “You’re talkin’ to me now. When I probably need someone to talk to me. That’s what counts, alright? That’s all I could ask of ya, and I wouldn’t even do that much. I’m not…well, I guess I can’t lie and say I’m not thinkin’ about the other stuff but…that’s not what’s important right now.”

It sounded like the right thing for him to say, but it also felt like it wasn’t. His hands were curling against my stomach, and I could still feel the tension in his voice that was betraying how much he still felt anxious.

His eyes darted to my lips again, and I felt that familiar flash of heat. I didn’t know what he saw when he looked into my eyes again, but I felt one of his hands slide down, and although my heart skipped a beat when he neared my groin, he didn’t go there. Instead, I felt the coolness of his skin against my stomach as he slid his hand up under the shirt to touch me.

I arched slightly; pushing my stomach against his hand and my shoulder back into his chest. It was the perfect position for him to see my face and practically an invitation. As I stared into his eyes, in one second I felt the need to pull away before he made his move, and in the next I didn’t want to move anywhere but closer to him.

It was the second thought that won, and that decision seemed to make his.

Kissing him the first time had been like kissing a live wire with no pain or convulsions. It was like waking a storm inside me that threatened to howl and scream as it tore me apart, and all I had wanted was to let it destroy me. Instead, Jake had pulled us closer, and it was a fire that flooded me, protecting me from the storm and drawing me even further down into the anticipation, the exhilarating pleasure.

This time was no different in how it felt and I reacted. His lips pressed against mine, and I felt the hand that wasn’t beneath my shirt gently cup my jaw, drawing me just that bit closer to the kiss. Not that I needed to be guided closer, I was more than happy to part my lips and let his tongue slide into my mouth. If the stubble on my jaw was as strange to him as his was against my upper lip, he gave no indication; it was as if he had done that dozens of times before.