Page 174 of Stanton Unconditional

I nod and close the door quickly behind me. I don’t have it in me for someone to be nice to me at the moment. I may crack under the pressure. Why didn’t I just go to Hawaii with the girls? I walk to the kitchen and instantly go to the medicine cabinet. I need something that will knock me out and stop me thinking. I can’t deal with this damn headache today. I finally find some Mersyndol and take three and then drink a large glass of milk to fill my stomach.

I shower and dress and crawl onto the lounge under a blanket.

I wake to the feel of my hair being swiped back from my forehead and my blanket being rearranged over me.

“What’s wrong?” Joshua asks.

“Nothing, just a headache. I’m okay,” I whisper as I pull the blanket up to my chin in a defensive manner.

He stands over me and puts his hands on his hips. “You don’t look ok, you look like shit,” he murmurs.

I look up at him and smirk. “You look worse, but thanks for the compliment.”

He flops onto the lounge next to me and throws his feet onto my coffee table. For ten minutes he sits next to me and I can feel the anger radiating out of him. In the end it gets the better of me and I can no longer keep my mouth shut.

“Did you come over here to ignore me, Joshua?” I ask. He bites his thumbnail and shakes his head.

I roll my eyes and pull my blanket back up around my face. “Whatever,” I murmur.

For another half an hour I sit with him fuming next to me and my head feels like it is about to explode. “What is it Joshua? Why did you come here if you are furious?”

He jumps up in a rush. “I’m not mad with you,” he yells, and my eyes close from the echoing sound.

I frown. “Who are you mad with?” I reply.

“Myself mostly.”

I frown again. “Why?” The pain in my head becomes so intense that my eyes tear up and it starts to throb. I can’t handle this conversation now.

“Because I can’t stay away from you!” he yells. I sit up and frown at him.

“Every goddamn day at three o’clock I start to watch my clock counting the hours until I see you and it makes me sick.”

My eyes fill with tears as my head starts to really thump. “It makes you sick missing me?” I ask, mortified.

“I shouldn’t miss you. I should hate you, I shouldn’t feel the way I do about you!”

The pain in my head becomes too much to bear. “But I love you,” I whisper as the stupid tears roll onto my cheeks.

“Natasha!” he screams. “Are you listening to me at all?”

My head throbs and my tears fall. I don’t have the strength to deal with him now. I stand slowly. “Joshua, I am unwell. I can’t argue with you tonight. I need to go to bed,” I whisper in a strained voice.

He frowns as his face falls. “Are you ok?”

I shake my head. “No, I am not. I have a terrible headache. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I need some peace and quiet, Josh, please give me some.”