Page 5 of The Heart You Kept

“Nobody is fucking me with a strap-on cock,” I spit.

He smiles, clearly amused by my horror. “It doesn’t have to come to that, but I think it would be good for you to explore other ways to hand over your sexuality and vulnerability and to learn trust.”

“No.” I shake my head. “No fucking way in hell.”

“You might like it.” He smirks.

“I absolutely know I won’t.”

“It’s one weekend. Confidentiality is assured and you will be anonymously matched with a woman who has the same needs as you.”

“What woman would need this?”

He smiles. “I’d like you to find out.”

“No.”

“If you go and you can’t go through with it…at least you’ll know.”

“Know what?”

“That there is a control issue and that way we have a good place to start moving forward.”

“What in the hell is letting a woman dominate me in bed going to do?”

“It’s going to free you from fear.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Prove it.”

SIX MONTHS LATER.

ALORA

“Is there anything else I can help you with, Miss Doe?” the bellboy asks.

Like what…?

Wait…do the bellboys give out sexual favors here too?

Oh dear god, I want to run far, far away.

What the hell am I doing here?

“No.” I force a smile. “I’m good.” I close the door of my suite and sit on the bed and look around. I’m at the Establishment, the kink hotel in Switzerland.

I flop back onto the bed and look up at the ceiling as I search for divine guidance. After going round and round for months, I knew if I didn’t do this now…that the wish list wouldn’t be completed. I have no idea if my future boyfriend or husband is going to be into it and if he isn’t, I can’t do it with someone else.

It will be too late.

I’m using my inheritance to do this, and I’m terrified and creeped out and I hate to admit it…a little excited.

I get up and turn on the taps as I run myself a deep bath. I sit on the edge as I wait for it to fill.

Tomorrow I meet him, Misty’s stranger. I smile as I think how proud she would be of me and even I have to admit, I’m a little proud of me too.

I pace back and forth in my room.