Page 101 of Valentino

VALENTINO

“Where are we with the….

“Not at this stage, I have organized….”

The boardroom table is alive with chatter, spreadsheets and planning, budgets and projections. And while the rest of the team at Ferrara are completely on their game, my mind isn’t here in this room, or even in this building.

It’s with her…it’s always with fucking her.

Like a record her words keep playing on repeat through my mind.

Again and again.

My heart hurts….

She was so angry, and at the time I thought that seemingly it came out of nowhere. But the more it sits with me, the more that I know it didn’t.

I find myself in between two powerful men. Former best friends. One of them I imagined a future with, and the other tricked me into believing that he loved me.

Did she imagine a future with me or was she just saying that as a throwaway comment, but why would she? There’s no payoff to telling me that unless….

Maybe….

Unwanted hope runs through my blood.

“And over here we have a commitment to extend….” The meeting continues before drowning out into the background.

She thought Carlo loved her?

Is it possible that they had something much deeper than I realized? I mean, he and I fought often about the way he disrespected her behind her back, but to make her believe that he loved her? All this time I assumed that he was going to harm her to hurt me but what if….

But you do share one defining quality with Carlo.

Fuck that, I do not share one quality with him, who the hell does she think she is saying that? How dare she….

The meeting goes on and on, and for a long time I stare at the wall and try to reconcile exactly what it is that I’m feeling. Why have her words resonated, and struck a deep chord, opened a wound that I didn’t know existed?

Fleeting thoughts swirl round and round but in the background I can feel it, lurking, waiting for its chance to come to the light. I push it away and try to focus…. But still it lingers, taunting me, and from the darkest crevice of my heart simmers a secret that I’ll never acknowledge, let alone admit to.

No matter how much I detest Carlo, how hard he betrayed me, I cannot deny that I loved him like a brother, we shared so much of our hearts for so long. The same past, the same childhood memories, lived the same life and had the same goals, a brotherhood of collective consciousness.

I’m looking for the kind of love that sinks its teeth into me and never lets me go…and neither of you are capable of that. Because it’s Carlo’s world and Valentino’s world and women are just flesh used for orgasms, and the only thing that matters is money and revenge.

My stomach rolls at the thought, a visceral reaction to something raw and unsettling, I stand in a rush.

“What’s wrong?” Enrico frowns.

“Nothing, I’ll be back in a moment.” I rush from the conference room, march to my office and slam the door. Perspiration dusts my skin.

I’m going to be sick.

ANNA

The day has flown, the smile hasn’t left my face, and the hope hasn’t left my heart.

I can’t stop thinking what Cheska told me about Valentino and Carlo fighting over me. Like a movie, my mind keeps playing through different scenarios as I imagine how their conversation went.

Oh to be a fly on the wall and see how it started.