Page 121 of People Skills

‘What does not good mean, exactly?’ Kat says.

‘He was really sweet. We just, we weren’t good at it.’ Jamila shrugs, sipping at her coffee. ‘Maybe we’re not compatible.’

‘No, we can fix this. Not-good sex is recoverable,’ I say.

Kat makes a face. ‘Is it?’

‘Yes,’ I say firmly. ‘Give us more details, Jam.’

‘Like what?’ Jamila says, looking slightly horrified.

‘Was he a bad kisser? Was he too quick? Was there no foreplay? What did he do with his hands? Were you just too nervous? Was there no chemistry? Was it awkward? Was it silent? Did he try to do some shitty move he’s seen in porn? Does he have no understanding of women’s anatomy? Did he take too long?’

Kat’s eyes widen throughout this, looking increasingly impressed with my range of options.

Jamila considers the questions.

‘It was…awkward,’ she says, finally. ‘And quiet.’

‘Well, that’s okay,’ I say. ‘The first time can be awkward.’

‘Right. That’s the problem. And we’re both…pretty inexperienced.’ Jamila’s cheeks have gone a little pink.

‘Oh, okay, that changes things,’ Kat says.

‘It does?’ Jamila looks hopeful.

‘Yes. Because if there’s no one in charge, neither of you know what you like yet. Of course it was awkward,’ I say soothingly.

‘The problem is,’ Jamila says, spinning one way and then the other in her chair, ‘I don’t even know how to know if it’s good.’

‘Don’t worry about that. You’ll know,’ Kat says, and I nod.

Jamila looks back and forth between us and then settles on me. ‘When was the last time you had good sex?’ she asks, and I feel my face go warm.

‘Yes, good question,’ Kat says, turning to me as well.

‘Oh. Well. I don’t have an exact date or anything,’ I say. (I do have an exact date.)

‘It’s been that long?’ Kat asks, sympathetically.

‘Have you ever had good sex?’ Jamila asks. I can see her trust in my advice wavering.

‘I have,’ I say firmly. ‘I’ve had great sex. This year.’

‘Well, well. The plot thickens,’ Kat says, her eyes bright. ‘I am assembling options in my mind.’

‘What made it great?’ Jamila asks, and she has a pen and notebook in her hands.

‘You’re writing this down?’ I say.

‘Yes. You told me that in every important meeting you take notes.’

‘Well, yes, I meant work meeting.’

‘We’re at work.’

‘Okay. Fine. Take notes,’ I say. ‘Hmmm. What makes good sex?’ I try not to think immediately back to my nights with Xavier. Go further back, I urge my brain. To someone else. Caleb. I thought I had pretty good sex with Caleb, but that was before I had amazing sex with Xavier. Before Caleb? There was some good sex then. Good-ish. I had a lovely boyfriend called Luke in my early twenties. But every time I try to imagine something, all I see is Xavier.