Page 122 of People Skills

‘I want to know what made it good with the mystery person you had great sex with this year,’ Kat says.

She’s on the case. She’s not going to let this go. And that’s fair. I should have told her. In our morning swim sessions, we’ve been talking a lot about our lives and I’ve felt guilty not telling her. I’m lying to my colleagues, again.

‘You can also contribute you know,’ I say.

‘Fine,’ Kat says. She taps one finger on her chin. ‘I think it sounds like Darius needs more practice. He needs to really knuckle down, no pun intended, and get to know the area—you know what I mean? He needs to spend a lot of time in the area. Forget about heterosexual sex for a while. Tell him to pretend he’s a lesbian.’

Jamila is dutifully writing this down.

‘Did you tell him what you like?’ I ask her.

‘Nooo. I’m too embarrassed. I don’t know how to say it.’

‘Well, you just tell him. I’d really like it if you did this, or put this body part there.’

‘Is that what you did with your great sex?’

I think of Xavier saying, how low can I go, and me saying, as low as you want. I think of him saying, I’m begging. I think of him bending me over—

No. I push all the thoughts away.

‘He was, we were, we clicked. In a way that doesn’t always happen, that rarely happens.’

‘What did he do first?’ Jamila asks, her pen poised.

‘We kissed.’

‘And then?’

‘I don’t remember.’ My face feels very hot.

‘Oh, you remember,’ Kat says. ‘The question is, was it James or was it Xavier?’

I give a squeak of outrage, and stand up.

‘Shhhh!’ I say, glancing at the door to Hillary’s office.

Jamila’s eyes are wide. ‘It was one of those two? I thought it must have been Nathan.’

Nathan who? I almost say. Oh yes. Right. My date.

Hillary walks out of her office at this moment, and sees us all sitting together, Jamila with her notepad and pen out.

‘Oh good, you’re brainstorming a replacement. Who’s on the list so far?’ she asks Jamila.

There is a long pause. Jamila is not good at thinking on her feet. I usually am, but right now, my mind is twisted in knots, Xavier-size knots. Kat is also blinking. Hillary is impatient.

‘I don’t care if it’s a bad idea, just read out whatever you have written down,’ she snaps.

‘Xavier?’ Jamila says, looking at her page and then looking up.

‘Xavier?’ Hillary says. ‘My Xavier? Well, that’s pointless. He has already turned down every idea I offered him. Who else?’

Jamila gulps, looking at her notebook as if she’s scanning down a long list of possibilities and an ominous silence falls. Kat sits up straighter, a sudden gleam in her eye.

‘This is a fresh idea for Xavier,’ Kat says. ‘We were thinking, what if Charlotte and Xavier did an in-conversation about overcoming writer’s block?’

‘Oh,’ Hillary says, and the thunderous look on her face clears a little. ‘That’s an interesting angle. Especially now he’s actually writing again. Charlotte, have you read his novels? Could you do an in-conversation about his past work and how you got him out of his slump?’