Page 96 of People Skills

‘No, we don’t,’ Hillary says, shaking her head again.

‘Yes we do,’ Graham says, nodding.

Xavier looks at me, wide-eyed.

‘Dad, you should listen to Mum,’ James says.

‘You don’t even know what I’m going to say,’ Graham says.

‘Yes, I do,’ James says. ‘And it’s sick.’

‘What on earth?’ Hillary says.

‘What’s going on?’ Ettie says. ‘What’s sick?’

‘Xavier, back me up here,’ James says.

‘I don’t want to be involved,’ Xavier says.

‘Oh, classic Xav, never having to get involved in anything,’ Ettie says. ‘And yet, you get all of Mum’s attention.’

‘Hang on,’ Xavier says. ‘That’s not fair.’

‘Isn’t it? This dinner isn’t about my birthday, no one here gives a crap about my birthday, it’s about you and Lana getting back together.’

‘Maybe I should go,’ Lana says, standing up.

‘Me too,’ I say, standing with her.

‘No, stay,’ Xavier says, and it’s not clear who he’s speaking to.

‘And—sorry, Charlotte—but why is she even here, Mum? You can’t get through your dinner without your employees helping? Do you ever think about how that makes me feel?’ Ettie says. She turns to me and mouths sorry.

‘I’m going to go,’ I say firmly.

‘No, Charlotte, stay. Ettie, that is incredibly rude,’ Hillary says. ‘Charlotte is like family to me.’

‘Charlotte is here so I don’t feel awkward, otherwise it’s a bunch of couples and me,’ James says.

‘A bunch of couples?’ Ettie says. ‘Mum and Dad aren’t a couple.’

‘About that,’ Graham says.

‘Graham,’ Hillary says, shaking her head.

‘Charlotte is here with me, as my friend, not as someone for you to hit on because you’re bored, James,’ Xavier says.

‘Make up your mind, Xav, is it Charlotte or Lana who belongs to you?’ James says.

‘No one belongs to anyone,’ Hillary says, frowning. ‘I don’t like that misogynistic language, James.’

‘I’m commenting on Xavier’s behaviour,’ James says.

‘You’re the one who is flirting with her!’ Xavier says.

‘Charlotte is my employee and it’s extremely inappropriate for you to even be having this conversation about her,’ Hillary says.

‘I thought she was family?’ James says.