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“I’ve never forgotten. Some memories do not fade. Thorvald left me in my chamber, told me I would not eat until I ceased my ‘weak tears,’ then reminded me that her death was my doing.”

The dead Ever King was a bastard.

“But you,” Erik said, scowling at his palms, “you snuck past the guards and came to my room.”

“You give me too much credit, cousin.” I did not look at the king. “I did no sneaking. Alistair let me through.”

Erik chuckled, likely planning to threaten his pompous steward with removal from his post the instant he returned to the palace.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “What I remember is you did not mock my tears. You told me fanciful tales of what Maj was doing in the Otherworld: sailing with the gods of the sea, searching for new coves where she’d want to skip stones with us when we met again. You sang to me that night, her favorite tune, until I fell asleep.”

I was uncertain if I wanted to leap over the balcony to escape or dredge up every memory. From nights when Erik would come sing my bones back into place after a beating even if he did not know I’d seen him, to the rare moments we both laughed at the same jest on the Ever Ship only to stop and glance awkwardly at the other.

“You desired the song. I felt it.” I nodded toward his chest.

“I know. And you did it. You knew Thorvald would be furious, but you came anyway.” Erik let out a grunt of annoyance, then turned to face me straight on. “Listen, more doesn’t need to be said, does it? We don’t need to…keep being what Harald told us to be, right?”

I bit back a grin and nodded. “Right.”

“Good.” Erik turned back to the balcony. “Then that’s that.”

For a stretched silence, we did not speak, merely watched folk below us stumble in and out of the Tower.

“I do have questions,” he said. “What the hells is going on with you and the princess? I swear it, if you bedded her simply because she was all you had at the time and her folk retaliate, I will—”

“I didn’t.” I stared at my cousin. “I mean, I did, but not for that reason.”

Erik’s brow grooved. “You…desire her?”

“Do you really want me to answer? I would not say you and I are yet skilled at expressing heartfelt things to each other.”

The king considered the truth of it for a moment. “I’m surprised, is all. You’ve bemoaned my directives to escort her, and I admit if that has changed, it takes a bit of the enjoyment out of it.”

“I did not know how to be near her because it felt different—I felt different,” I said. “Sometimes I still don’t understand what happens when she’s nearby. The…hate does not burn so fiercely.”

Erik’s expression softened. “Aye. It does not.”

Another drawn pause that did not feel so suffocating any longer.

“She knows things about you I never imagined anyone would ever know,” Erik mused.

I took an interest in my palms. “I might say the same for you. Who told you about what Harald and his dark earth fae pet were doing to me?”

“Gavyn found out. Saw you upset and battered, but it was different from when Harald would beat you. I had him find out what was going on.”

“Shit.” I let my head fall back. “Then you’ve known since before the Great War.”

Erik nodded. “Right before we went to fight the earth fae.”

“Dammit. Gavyn’s known all this time what…what…” I couldn’t finish.

“You mean what Harald did to his own son?” Erik’s voice sharpened. “What my damn people did.” He pounded a fist to his chest. “To my blood. Yes, Gavyn found out and I vowed it would end.”

“Was that why you killed Harald?”

Erik didn’t hesitate. “A great part of it, yes. I’d planned to banish him when the war ended, then I heard how he nearly broke your neck while I was absent, and there was no world in which Harald Songtaker was going to live any longer. When did you piece together what our uncharted raids meant over the turns? I thought I was rather clever spacing them out.”

“By the time you reached Lady Skelfing, I knew why you targeted certain folk.”