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Kristen immediately fixes a smile to her face. “Mel! You’re up early. Do you want a…” But she trails off. And Mel knows that her expression must say it all. “You heard,” Kristen says, and her own expression twists into a grimace.

Mel nods and steps farther into the room. Susan, sitting at the dining table, looks over to her. She looks tired, with a slightly puffy face and gray circles under her eyes. She hasn’t looked this tired all holiday, has she? Or has Mel been too wrapped up in her own drama to notice that something is seriously wrong? Oh God. It can’t be happening. It can’t be.

The three of them are quiet. Then Susan blows out a long breath, rubbing her hands over her face.

Mel swallows, her mouth dry. “Cancer?” She has to say it. She has to get it out there.

Susan drops her hands, and nods.

“But…”

“They don’t know,” Kristen whispers. “Finn, Mark, Hattie. They don’t know.”

Mel stares at Kristen. “But you?”

“I found out, the day before we came away. There was a letter from the doctor…”

“Which I was stupid enough to leave out,” Susan says wearily.

Mel looks between the two of them, hoping one of them will say something to make it better, that it’s not that serious, that Susan hasn’t been keeping this from her family the entire holiday.

“I haven’t told Mark,” Kristen says, and now her eyes are swimming with tears. And it’s that which makes it real. Kristen is crying. She is crying, because Susan has cancer.

“Why not?” Mel manages to get out, her throat almost too tight to speak.

“Because I asked her not to,” Susan says. “And I’m going to ask that of you too, Mel.” She gets to her feet, crosses to where Mel is standing, and takes both her hands. “I’m so, so sorry you found out like this. But I made a decision not to tell the family, because I don’t want to ruin Christmas. I wanted everyone to enjoy this holiday, to have this time together. So I’m asking you to help me with that. I’m asking if you’ll let me tell everyone in my own time, when I’m ready.”

Susan squeezes Mel’s hands to emphasize the point. She doesn’t look ill. Does she?

“How long have you known?” Mel whispers.

“A few weeks.”

Mel nods, trying to take it in. Then she pulls Susan into a hug, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Susan does not need to see her cry. “I’m so sorry,” she murmurs.

Susan pats her back. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

Kristen brings three mugs over to the table, and sets them down. Susan pulls away and they all sit, Mel cupping her hands around the tea for warmth. “How bad…?” She trails off, not sure if she should ask.

The way Susan hesitates sends a bolt of fear through Mel.

“I’ve got a follow-up appointment in the new year,” Susan says calmly. “I’ll know more then—and that’s when I’ll tell everyone.”

Mel goes quiet. She doesn’t know what to say. It’s still not sinking in—that she’s been ill, this whole time. That she’s not told everyone. Is this what the Christmas list has been about? Has Susan wanted everyone to enjoy this Christmas as much as possible—because it might be her last? No, stop it, Melanie. She doesn’t know that. She shouldn’t jump to any conclusions.

Kristen checks her phone for the time, biting her lip. She seems to have managed to control her emotions, her eyes a little dryer. “I’m going to have to go back next door. Freya will be up any minute. She won’t wait for sunrise on Christmas.”

“Yes, you should go back,” Susan agrees. “Give Freya a Christmas cuddle from me and come over when you’re all ready.”

But Kristen hesitates. “Susan, I—”

“Go,” Susan says firmly. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

Kristen blows out a long breath, then gets to her feet. She gives Mel a small, sad smile. “I’m sorry, Mel.” As if anyone needs to apologize to her, in this scenario.

“I’m sorry too,” says Mel quietly. Because what else is there to say?

When Kristen is gone, Mel and Susan sip their teas quietly for a moment. Then Mel takes a breath, gearing herself up. “Susan, I’m sure Kristen has already talked about this with you, but are you sure you don’t want to tell everyone? They…” But she stops herself. She was going to say “they have a right to know,” but that sounds harsh, doesn’t it? And, really, it is Susan’s decision, not hers.