Page 106
He nods. “All right.”
“It seems like we’re maybe on the same page here,” I continue.
“I agree.”
“And kind of . . . forged the same path in getting to this page.”
James’s expression shifts to one of curiosity. He’s not denying it but also not agreeing. Thankfully, he doesn’t interrupt.
“Anyway,” I continue, “I just . . .”
Oh, gosh. I sound like one of those girls trying to “define the relationship” and nail down a wedding ring way too early. Talk about scaring the guy away.
“I’ve been waiting for this conversation,” James says at last.
I look at him. “You have?” I exhale in mild relief. Yes. Let’s just get this thing over with.
“Well, it’s not exactly a secret for either of us.”
“Sure,” I say, nodding. I mean, it took a while for me to catch on, but . . .
“You live here and I live in New York.”
“Right,” I say, continuing to nod. But then slowing.
“And as I have made pretty clear, I like you.”
“Mm-hmm. Me too.”
“I’ve enjoyed our time together.”
Why is my stomach starting to turn?
“And I’d like to keep things going,” he says.
I nod. But it’s just once this time.
I sense him waiting for me to chime in and say, Yes. I would too.
But this isn’t the topic. This conversation has strayed entirely. It’s still important, but totally different from where I was headed.
“So,” he continues. “I was thinking . . . I could fly down after New Year’s. Tickets are pretty affordable. And I have a place to stay.”
Wait. What is going on here? I feel the focus of the subject we most need to discuss slipping away. But we can’t let it slip away. We’ve got to address this first.
“And I was thinking—”
“James,” I interrupt. Then, when he goes quiet, I laugh a little. “I just . . . If it’s all the same to you, I was hoping to clear the air first.”
To my surprise, his brows rise. In complete ignorance. “Sure. About?”
“About . . .” Oh gosh. My chest pinches. I suddenly feel like I can’t do this after all.
Push through.
Push. Through.
“About the thing I know about,” I continue. “About . . . the book. And the list.”
