Page 15

After confirming that Tessa’s father is still alive, and able to consume sips of water, we pack up the truck, leave Tessa with a pack of bullets, and head toward Ceniza. My hands fidget uncontrollably in my lap, as I sit between Cadmus and Titus, with Brandon riding in the back, as usual. It’s possible that I’m no closer to Valdys than I was weeks ago, but I cling to this small bit of hope, regardless.

“We have enough gas to make it there, right?” I lean into Titus, checking out the fuel gauge that sits at about a half tank.

“As I told you this morning, we have plenty,” Titus says, his attention on the road. “There are two more cans in the back. Relax, Cali.”

Thankfully, the last hive we raided kept a supply of corn fuel they produced themselves, and we were sure to stock up on it before we left. I can’t relax, as he’s suggested, though. I won’t rest, or relax, until I open those damn doors and find out what happened to Valdys. One could say I’ve been obsessed, maybe even reckless in my pursuit, but I don’t care. Every day that passes is one day closer to forgetting about him, and I can’t bring myself to imagine that.

I won’t.

Rough roads, worn down by time and neglect, jostle the truck, while the desert landscape passes in a blur. Over the next hour, I focus on the upcoming encounter with the rebels themselves, instead of Valdys—yet another topic that leaves me antsy and nauseated with anticipation.

The town of Ceniza is relatively new, established after the Dredge had already decimated most of the cities in California. From what little I heard about it, a hive of about eight families lived there. One night, a horde moved through, killing off and consuming many of them, as they slept. Those who remained gathered inside one of the abandoned churches, which was soon surrounded by Ragers, too. Far too many for them to fight off. So they set the building aflame and burned alive inside. It’s said the smoke rising up to the sky was seen for days after, and alerted other nearby hives, who were able to avoid the horde.

Titus turns off the main highway, onto a road that will take us to the ocean, if we keep going that way. Only a couple miles along, I see a small town off in the distance. A few abandoned buildings dot the otherwise barren landscape, and I scan the surroundings for any sign of a camp.

Titus slows the truck, and it’s then I remember, these people have wreaked havoc on Legion soldiers. Slaughtered and killed without remorse. Even if we might be on the same side, they’re not known to be peaceful.

“Are you sure you have the right place?” I sit forward, noting the absence of tents and human life.

“I’m positive.” Titus points forward, and I follow the path of his finger toward the burnt remains of a building up ahead, where I assume the families burned themselves alive in what must’ve been the church.

Panic simmers low inside my chest, a feeling of dread settling deep within my gut, as he brings the truck to a stop in what I imagine was once the middle of a downtown, marked by dilapidated buildings at either side of a sand-covered road. The knot inside my chest pulses and expands, crushing my lungs, as we climb out of the vehicle, taking in the silence of our surroundings and the untrodden sand swept over by fresh wavy layers.

There is no camp here. From the looks of it, there never was.

I breathe in the dry, arid breeze that blows through my hair and force myself not to break. I won’t break, but I feel my heart crumbling inside my ribs, being carried away by the wind that sits thick and heavy in my lungs.

It’s as Cadmus said before. I’m chasing ghosts.

Cadmus and Titus head off in separate directions, perhaps to confirm each of the abandoned buildings are empty, but I stand smack in the center of the road, eyes closed, as I will myself to hold as many of the pieces together as I can.

Do. Not. Break.

Perhaps only seconds pass in what seems like hours before both Alphas return to me, the expressions on their faces holding grim darkness and sorrow that I know matches my own.

“There’s nothing, Cali.” Cadmus doesn’t even look at me as he says the words, as if he can’t bear to watch their effect on me.

His form blurs with the tears in my eyes, and the world around me spins in my periphery, moves far too fast for me to hang on. I close my eyes, the grit of the sand hitting my knees as I fall to the ground. The fringes close in on me.

Maybe Tessa lied. Maybe she didn’t know what she was talking about. Perhaps this is my fault for following the words of a child who wasn’t entirely right in her mind. It doesn’t matter now.

Nothing matters.

I feel as if I’ve fallen into a hole with no bottom, and no way to climb to the surface. Sinking farther and farther down, watching the light above me shrink to a pinprick.

Voices reach my ears through the void, and I open my eyes to the surrounding darkness, take in the smell of gasoline as I stare up at the silver box that tells me I’m in the back of the truck. As the voices sharpen into clarity, I sit up on my bed of sleeping bags to listen.

“I blame you for this.” The venom in Cadmus’s voice is unmistakably potent, as if he’s been arguing for hours. “Your fucking fault she’s chasing after something that isn’t real. Feeding her your bullshit hopes. Valdys is dead. And if he isn’t, you know damn well he might as well be.”

“And it’s your job to be the voice of reason—that it, Cadmus?” Titus volleys back. “As if you give a damn about her mental wellbeing. You stroke your fucking cock every time shit doesn’t pan out.”

“If I didn’t care about her, I’d let you go on filling her head. How many times do you need to see her rise and fall before she’s had enough? Or is that how you get off?”

The thumping sound that follows is one of a fist against flesh, confirmed by the chasing grunts and groans. I crawl toward the back of the truck and hop out to find Cadmus and Titus rollicking in the dirt, as each takes his turn hammering punches into the other. Off to the side, Brandon stands shaking his head, and he crosses his arms over his chest, watching the two. He once tried to break up their fighting, and took a hit to the ribs that I’m certain resulted in a broken bone. There isn’t a chance he’d try again.

“Enough! Stop this fighting! Both of you!”

Fist drawn back for another hit, Titus halts, his chest heaving, jaw tense and grinding. Instead of following through, he pushes off Cadmus and jumps to his feet, wiping the back of his hand across his bloodied lips.