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On my knees, I stare at the blood and fragments of clothing inside Valdys’s chamber. The one on the opposite side of his, eighty-seven, holds bits that look half chewed, as if something came through and consumed them while they slept.

My head won’t believe what my eyes are seeing. A hum of dread vibrates beneath my skin, while I reach out a shaky hand, lifting the bloody fabric out of his empty capsule. When I hold it to my nose, that metallic scent hits the back of my throat, and I suspect it must be shock that keeps me from breaking.

“Valdys,” I whisper, and the sound of his name on the air is a broken promise. It’s the universe reminding me how much it’s willing to take from me. How little I’m worth, that the only thing I’ve loved could be ripped so viciously from my hands. Mouth gaping, I look around the room, my brain desperate to process all of this. Surely, I should be angry? Sad? Devastated?

I feel nothing but a cold tickle in my chest that tells me my head is in a very dangerous place.

“Cali ...” Brandon chokes up, and he rubs his skull as he walks away for a moment, perhaps not wanting to show his emotions. Even if he’s Legion, he understands what this means, better than I do, it seems.

Cadmus sits crouched beside me, one knee propped up, upon which he buries his head in his bent arm. Even the influence of drugs doesn’t steal away the devastation of this moment.

A tight squeeze clamps around my chest, and that’s when I notice I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating, and I don’t even realize it. The world is heavy, bearing down on my shoulders, and every muscle in my body quakes with the effort of keeping myself upright.

“Did you find him?” Titus’s voice over the walkie-talkie is a bitter shot of reality that slides down my throat, as I stare at the piece of equipment in my unsteady hand. “Cali? You there?”

A stronger hand than mine reaches for the walkie-talkie, and through tears, I look up to see Cadmus staring back at me, his green eyes drowning in sadness.

He lifts the equipment to his face and gives a hard swallow that bobs in his throat. “He’s gone,” he reports back.

The sheer veil over my eyes begins to lift, and I curl into the ache burrowed deep inside my gut.

I finally break.

Coiled up on the floor, I clutch the scrap of fabric to my chest, as I stare at the white wall across from me, spattered in bright red blood. I imagine Valdys lying peacefully in his chamber, unaware of the surrounding chaos and carnage, until it’s too late. Until those bastardly things tear him from slumber, their eyes cold and black, and unremorseful.

Perhaps I’ve been lying here ten minutes. Could be an hour. I don’t know, and I don’t care.

“Whatever is going on, you need to wrap it up. There’s movement at the end of the hall. Trying to get a visual on it.” The voice is Kenny’s, but his words fail to give me any urgency.

Not even when Cadmus tugs at my arm and says, “We have to go, Cali.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m not leaving you here. If I have to carry your ass out of here, so be it.”

The sting of tears hits my eyes again when I stare up at him, the realization that I have to walk out of here without Valdys slowly sinking in. “There’s nothing for me out there now.”

He flinches as if this wounds him, and the sadistic ache inside me craves more pain. More suffering. The ache swirls into anger, and through tears, I give a mirthless smile.

“You might as well go. I don’t need you, or Titus anymore.”

Hands at his hips, he shakes his head and snorts. “You’re something else.” Before I can stop him, he shoves his hands beneath me, lifting me up from the floor, and hoists me over his shoulder. The world is upside down, his back smacking me in the cheek.

Writhing and squirming does nothing to break his steel grasp, as he strides through the room back toward the door.

I don’t want to scream and alert whatever Kenny found on the cameras, but I’m not leaving this room with Cadmus. “Put me down,” I say low enough that he can still hear the anger poisoning my words. “I swear to God, Cadmus, I will scream.”

“Scream, then. Either way, I’m getting you the fuck out of here.”

“Wait. Just … wait a minute. Please?”

He pauses midstride and slides me down in front of him, holding me against him, so there’s no chance of running. “You’ve got thirty seconds to say what you need to say.”

“Beyond these walls, I have nothing. Don’t make me go back out there. Please. I want to stay here.”

“I lied. Ten seconds.” His shoulder slams against my stomach like before, flipping me over as he carries me to the door, while I squirm again for freedom. “I’ve said it before, somebody’s gotta be the bad guy. Might as well be me.”

“Cadmus, please!” The panic of my reality begins to settle over me. The likelihood that I will be forced to roam the desert without Valdys. Always searching. Always waiting for the day when I can be reunited with him. Every month, I’ll be forced to bed someone, or end up bloated in false pregnancy for weeks, crying in pain. I can’t do it. I won’t. “Put me down!”