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I finally crack.

All the pain. All the shame rolls out of me.

Strong arms come around, enveloping me, and I squirm to get loose, but his grip is like steel.

I lift my head to find it isn’t Remus beneath me, but Titus. Blood trickles out of his nose and his lip that I’ve split open. I trail my gaze down to his chest, where I’ve clawed at his skin so hard, it’s torn deep glistening grooves into his flesh. What I thought was real was only imagined.

Tears leak from my eyes, sharpening the features of his face, and I place my fingers to a red mark left on his cheek. “What have I done?”

“What you had to do.”

“No. I didn’t want to hurt you. Not you.”

“I’d face death to see the light in your eyes again. You can’t take your anger out on him now, but you can take it out on me, if you need to. This is better than watching you die every day. At least I know you’re still in there. You still have fight in you.” He reaches up to grab the back of my neck. “Hit me if you need to. I can take it all.”

“No. No more.” I lean forward to press my lips to his, hesitating for a moment, but follow through this time. The scent of him is overwhelming. Metal and fire hitting the back of my throat and watering my mouth. Leaning further, I breathe him in, curling my fingers around his flesh.

His scent. God, I can’t get enough of it. I want more. Need more.

He grips my shoulders, pushing me away from him. “It’s the injections you were given.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember the bonding I spoke of, with Cali?”

At my nod, he strokes a hand down my hair. “It’s very strong with the shots.”

“You feel it, too?”

“I felt it before the shots, but it’s pretty powerful now. I promise I won’t touch you, though.”

“I want your touch, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid that all I’ll see is him.”

“I can’t save you from this hell. Much as I want to, I can’t take what he did away from you. But I’m not going anywhere.”

Exhaling a shaky breath through my nose, I kiss him again, feeling the tingle at the back of my throat, the same butterflies as before. Only now, I’m more guarded. More vulnerable to the risk that I’ll wake to Remus. “I love you,” I breathe. Even still, the words are worth saying. They’re worth the pain of ridicule and rejection, because they’re my truth.

His brows come together, and I stare down at him, waiting for what comes next. For his face to morph into Remus’s. The laughter. The pain of having ripped open my chest, only to be forced to face the unrequited silence.

A sharp exhale escapes him, and the tightening of his jaw is the physical proof of a battle raging inside of him. “When I was captured as a boy, those were the last words my mother said to me. Like a chain that’d been snipped, I feared that was the last time I’d ever hear, or say, them again.” He rubs his thumb over my lips, gaze fixed there. “The love I feel for you is endless. Infinite. Unbreakable.”

I rest my head against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart, and let him wisp me away to the black, placid sea.

Chapter 43

The masculine scent fills my nose, casting a chill over my skin. Still asleep, my lips hunt the source of it, tongue dragging over flesh. It’s a strange sensation, like hunger and excitement hitting me all at once. At the sound of a deep guttural growl, I open my eyes.

Remus smiles up at me, his deformed fingers tracing my temple, and I back myself down his body.

“No! No! No!” Clamping my eyes shut, I turn away from him.

“Thalia.”

It’s Titus’s deep voice that draws me back again, and with a nervous tickle in my chest, I dare to open an eye, praying he’s real. It’s his handsome face that greets me, with the telling lines of concern etched into his tight brow.

He’s not Remus.

Remus isn’t here.