Page 47

ERA

I swear, life always had a way of throwing curve balls. I felt like I had done a horrible job at my performance but based on the blogs they were loving it. It seemed like the bad comments on my performance were sticking out more than the thousands of good comments. During my second song, my stomach felt like someone had taken a knife and dragged it across, busting my guts open. I thought maybe my period which had been missing for weeks now was making its appearance but that wasn’t the case at all.

Sweat gathered on my forehead towards the end of my song and I started to feel super lightheaded. In my mind, the song that I was singing sounded like a bunch of jumble. I cried at the standing ovation, said my thanks, and hurried off the stage to throw everything that I had inside of my stomach.

I was now on the bathroom floor of my fitting room crying my heart out because I didn’t understand what was going on with my body. For the past couple of weeks, I had these spells of feeling sick and not really wanting to do much. I pushed myself hard because I didn’t have any time to waste when it came to my career.

“It seems to me like its pregnancy symptoms chile.” Shelby leaned against the door frame staring down at me. I quickly shook my head no and then stood up.

“It can’t be that though, well I don’t think it is.” My mind went back to the night that me and Soulful spent together. Fear struck me like lightning. We were so reckless that night, not using any protection. The thought of me being pregnant by him and how the blogs would eat me alive for sleeping with a married man had me falling down and hugging the toilet again.

“Yea, definitely pregnant symptoms. Take it from a woman that has two grown kids. Sometimes the first trimester doesn’t seem to hit as hard for some. A lot of women though can get really sick in the beginning.” She gave me a sympathetic look and my stomach felt queasy again.

“What should I do?” I looked at her like she was my savor.

“I don’t believe in abortion but as your manager if that’s something you would like to do. I can get you in somewhere undetected, without the media getting a hold of what it is you are doing.” She stopped talking like she was thinking of something else.

“If you are pregnant, then I feel like the right thing for you to do is talk to who the father is.” That’s the part I didn’t want to hear.

“I’m scared Shelby. This is my career, how am I supposed to navigate through this?” A lone tear fell down my chubby cheek. I couldn’t believe how careless I was that night.

“You will navigate through it, with me right by your side. You know how many women came into the industry pregnant and still made a big name for themselves? You will release music, become big, and still have time to be a nurturing mother. Even if I got to take turns and feed the baby.” She giggled and I joined her, still afraid of the outcome of all of this. I didn’t want Soulful thinking that I was just some typical hood rat. Fucking niggas on the first night then trying to trap him because of who he was.

What I wouldn’t do is get rid of my baby. I just couldn’t see myself killing something so precious and innocent. My mom always said that I was a gift from God. Just the mere thought of this high possibility of being pregnant had me silently thanking God for sending me this gift, even if it came unexpected. The circumstances had me scared shitless but just like any other obstacle I was ready to face whatever this was.

“Girl first let me help you up off this nasty floor in that expensive ass gown. We still have to celebrate your success tonight.” I stood on wobbly legs from dropping down so hard to the tile floor. Giving her a weak smile, I wanted so bad to cancel tonight’s festivities. I just didn’t want to let Praylah down. She was so excited since she got us our jobs back. She even convinced Debo to let her throw a small get-together at his restaurant after hours.

I nicely declined on getting my job back since I really needed to focus on my thriving music career.

“Cheer up, we have to celebrate. You are viral and what matters the most is you’re not going viral from doing some stupid prank on the internet. Your viral because the world loves your raw and uncut talent. Era, you are authentic and beautiful, and people can feel all the good vibes and energies that radiate off of you.” Shelby had my grown ass blushing. Besides me getting sick, it felt good having my family and friends in that audience tonight.

Big-time celebrities sat in that audience clapping for me. Not only that, but Devin’s bitch ass was there with the bitch I caught him fucking at the studio. It’s like soon as I hit that stage, me and him locked eyes and it was like he saw a ghost. I love it when a person counts me out. I looked beautiful and like Shelby said, no one really noticed me getting sick towards the end.

The adrenaline that I felt from it all was just too much and I really couldn’t believe that my dreams were finally coming true. One thing that I would never lose sight of was myself and remaining humble and giving all my praises to God. Devin tried to break me and take the one thing that I cherished away and that was my dream.

I stayed in my dressing room cleaning myself up and changing out of my expensive gown. I brought my duffle bag to put on my white ripped up jeans that hugged every curve that I had to offer. I was feeling sexy and confident, so I put on my MCM crop top shirt. I paired it with the monogram MCM belt and hat. Looking down at my feet I smirked at my fresh MCM sneakers to match. I looked good as hell and just prayed that my stomach didn’t cut up again on me.

I walked out of the bathroom area to let Shelby know that I was ready to leave. Stopping right outside the bathroom door my eyes landed on Devin. Shelby gave him the look of death, crossing her arms across her chest.

“We really need to talk Era, alone.” Looking over at Shelby I nodded my head to give her the okay. I didn’t fear Devin, I just couldn’t stand his ass.

“The button for security is right on your vanity. I’ll be in the next room calling our driver for the night.” Shelby walked out and I took a seat on the small leather sofa.

“How can I help you, Devin?” He licked his lips as he grabbed the stool from the vanity that I used before my show. He placed the stool a couple of inches away from me and took a seat on it. Devin was beyond handsome. Those green, emerald eyes twinkled as he stared into my eyes giving me the puppy dog look. I already knew that he was getting ready to beg for his position back in my life. I was a little too excited to turn his ass down.

He gave me his panty wetting smile and licked those pink lips of his to lubricate all the lies that was about to spill from his dumb ass mouth.

“I miss the fuck out of you Era and I’m so proud of you Ma.” If I was a weak bitch, then his fine ass would have really got to me. All I could do right now was feel sorry for the next bitch that had to sit up and be charmed by his conniving ass.

“Thank you, Devin. I appreciate you. If that’s all, I need to be leaving for my party.” I stood and he quickly followed suit. Stepping into my personal space, he placed his hands on my wide hips and pulled me close.

“Come on, Era. You didn’t hear me just say I miss you baby? You the only woman that was really holding a nigga down and being there for me. I fucked up one time, you got to forgive me.” He lowered his lips onto my neck and kissed softly sending tremors down my spine. Some male attention did feel good, it felt so good that I let him grab a handful of my pear-shaped ass and squeeze tight.

Whimpering a little, I cleared my thoughts and placed my hands on his shoulders to create some space.

“Devin, I don’t want to sound like some broken record. You hurt me, and you’re only sorry because you got caught. Instead of you owning up and being remorseful, you shitted on me. You brought a whole contract to my house, a contract that could have changed my life. I stayed up late nights talking to you about my dreams and how much I love to sing. You shitted on me right after you broke my heart. I can’t forgive you for that shit.” He didn’t say anything, so I continued.

“You were happy here tonight with the girl I caught you fucking. You weren’t expecting to see me on that stage doing what you tried to take away from me. I still love you, I just can’t rock with you.” He started to chuckle. Fire was dancing in his green eyes like he was angry, and I prepared myself for him to say so fucked up shit.