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Inferno tried to question if he was handling business properly because he seemed to have a lot of downtime on his hands. Apparently, Roberto handled his shit, from what I could see, he stayed on the phone, texting or talking in his native tongue. Him and Queen were tight as hell, and I liked that especially for Queen. She was a good mother to her three kids but on her down time when she wasn’t tending to her multiple clinics and staying on top of all her business. She would fly down to Mexico to be with Roberto and if Roberto was already down here, we all hung out together.

A lot of my teammates wanted to be cool but since I came from the streets and constantly watching my back and not trusting muthafuckas. I kept a good distance. I had my own family and my sisters stayed up to shit the older they got. Mainly Luv who was now eighteen, Passion was sixteen and super sweet but sneaky. Passion didn’t take my mom’s death to hard but Luv did. She still had her moments where she would act out because of it.

In a fucked up way, I felt a little relieved. I missed my mom don’t get me wrong and hate that she died the way that she did. She hurt me so much that I felt a great ounce of relief knowing that she couldn’t hurt or disappoint me or my sisters. Getting our hopes up, making us think that she would get better and stay in a rehab, if not for me then her two young daughters but she never followed through.

Just a bunch of broken promises that broke me as a man. It took me years to even establish the type of confidence that I now had. It didn’t mean that I was a hundred percent good. I had it all now, a wife with no kids, and two siblings that I took good care of like they were mine. Quite often, I felt myself being ungrateful. Its like I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was wrong with me. I had Sovereign, and her kids along with Roberto still I felt like I was missing something.

“Where is that wife of yours?” I shook my head as we walked toward my locker room. I was pretty sure it was empty by now. Whenever we won a game, I stayed on the field talking and celebrating another victory. I was a quarterback; the pressure was always high whenever I played a game. I felt like I carried my team on my back and they depended on me more than the coach.

“I don’t even know; you know Jocelyn loves to shop and do her own thing.” I shrugged it off not trying to give it too much thought. Deep down I was angry and tired of making excuses for the woman that I had fell in love with six years ago. I kept trying with Jocelyn because I didn’t want to give up on her. Even when I wasn’t a hundred percent at my best, I pushed my shit to the side to be a husband to her. Jocelyn lost her brother Havoc around the same time that I lost my mom.

We reconnected and we were there for each other, emotionally and physically. I made her my wife three years ago because I didn’t see myself with anyone but her. She turned to alcohol but promised me she would stay away from it because she knew how I felt about addiction. I knew a marriage wasn’t supposed to be perfect but most of the time I wasn’t so sure if Jocelyn even deserved the dignity of being called a wife. I wasn’t no nagging ass worrisome nigga so I let her do her thing. We both grew up not having much so I knew that she was thrilled about us being super rich and having things. I just wondered for how long would she be thrilled and start calming down instead of being out every other day spending money like it was going out of style.

When I felt like I was at the very edge of the world, I pulled myself away and regrouped by myself. Yet when it was the same for my wife, I was the one wrapping my hands around her and pulling her away to show her that we both could get through anything together.

“Hmmm, shopping and splurging she can do that any day out the week. She chooses to do that on a game day? I don’t like it, and when are y’all having kids again? I thought two years ago you guys were going to go at it.” Walking down the empty hallway, I felt my chest constrict a little from all the adrenaline I had out on the field. It felt like my body was trying to calm itself and just the thought of my wife being none supportive sent me back into overdrive.

Over the years, I overcame so much shit. Anxiety and depression and a whole lot of pretending like I was good when I really wasn’t. I did the best I could and never made excuses for how I felt. I wouldn’t dare crumble in front of Jocelyn because I didn’t want her thinking that I was some weak nigga that was always emotional.

I did all my crying and talking about my struggles inside my head. When it got to be too much, I would end up expressing myself a little to Sovereign or Roberto. They both were very protective when it came to me, so I held a lot of shit in. I didn’t want them not liking Jocelyn and make shit uncomfortable for her when she came around so I never went to Sovereign specifically when it came to my marriage problems.

Roberto was a little different, he couldn’t stand Jah but he still respected her whenever she was around and I appreciated that. He didn’t like her because he saw first hand how she moved selfishly not considering the people around her. I never put too much on her, I didn’t even expect her to help with my sisters because they weren’t her responsibility. Even that shit was starting to become strange.

“She told me that she didn’t want to have kids until Passion was eighteen, so I guess we got two more years.” Roberto smacked his lips hard.

“Thissss Chica is a special kind of wife. You okay with that?” He folded his arms and started tapping his foot. You could hear the echo of his foot traveling down the hallway.

“I guess I have to be. I mean shit, a marriage is about coming to common grounds and sacrificing. If she don’t want my kids right now then I got to wait, plus I’m knee deep with football. I’m trying to win the super bowl again this year.” I smiled hard at that. My accomplishments really made me feel good about myself.

“Every time I creep up on you two, you both seem to be plotting some shit. Teddy, let me find out you trying to make side deals with Berto’s cartel.” I turned to Sovereign’s voice and smiled like a kid in the candy store. Sovereign had an aura to her that just automatically brought you comfort. Sometimes I found myself looking at her like the mother and big sister I wish I had. Her heels clicked against the floors as she moved closer with Inferno always trailing a couple feet back with his eyes glued to her backside.

Stevie Wonder himself could see how bad these two had it for each other. Her perfume overpowered any other smells surrounding us. I gave her a big hug and slapped hands with Inferno.

“Good game, my boy. Y’all fasho winning Superbowl this year. I’m dropping big money on it.” I nodded my head because I was confident that this year belonged to the Packers.

“Well, let’s all meet at your house Teddy. I been trying to catch up with Luv. I’ve been calling her for three days now to get her to watch the kids for Inferno and I. We supposed to be going on vacation this weekend. I texted her ass and asked and she told me she’d let me know.” Sovereign giggled but I didn’t find shit funny about it. Luv ain’t have shit to do and it wouldn’t and shouldn’t be a problem with the kids coming through for her to sit and watch them.

“Yea, we can do dinner at my house. I’ll call Jah and let her know. You already know I got the kids though; you didn’t even have to text to ask Luv ass.” I couldn’t wait to catch up with my own little sister myself. She was in and out the house every chance she got. She was supposed to be going to a community college for cosmetology and told me that it was what she was doing that kept her busy. I just wasn’t sure if her ass was being honest.

Like I said, Luv gave me the most problems. Passion was graduating early and going to Birmingham on a scholarship. Luv opted out of going to a university. She claimed that she wanted something different so I respected her.

“I’ll catch up with y’all later. My ice bath is waiting for me.” We all said our farewells until later. As I made my way to the locker rooms, I stripped down leaving my cleats by the bench. I walked towards the huge ice tub with my phone in my hands. The first person I called was my wife as I eased into the freezing water. Once my body was immersed in, I let out a low grumble. Jocelyn didn’t answer and I wasn’t feeling that shit. So, I waited until my body went numb inside the tub then dialed her again.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” I remained quiet for a while listening to her loud ass background. Pulling at my chin hairs to calm myself I couldn’t find the right words.

“I hate when you do that Soulful. You called me and yet you’re not talking.” Clearing my throat, I held the phone tighter.

“I’m trying to figure out why the fuck it sounds like you out at a club or somewhere when I had a football game today.” Thinking about the conversation that me and Roberto had, I could feel myself becoming pissed the fuck off.

“Since when did you care about me making your games?” She smacked her lips and chuckled.

“I shouldn’t want you to do shit. You should want to support me, like I’m always doing for you.” This was the shit I didn’t like, she never had to tell me how the fuck to be a husband. Yet, I stayed hinting around to her how to be a fucking wife.

“I went out shopping with my girls and they wanted to get drinks afterwards. Nothing major, Soulful. I’ll be home before you get there, I got some sexy ass lingerie that I plan on wearing for you tonight, to celebrate your victory. I already know my big daddy won.” That caused me to smile and forget about even being mad with her.

“Yea alright, but I need you to start supporting a nigga more. That shit look bad as fuck, not that I give a fuck what muthafuckas think. You just never around when it comes to the shit that’s important as fuck to me. We having company tonight, so I need you to cook up some shit and make sure the house straight.” I counted down to five, I already knew she was getting ready to bitch.

“Why not mention this in advance Soulful? I wasn’t in the mood for company.”