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“Is that the only reason?” I ask, walking outside to the SUV.

“He’s pretty pissed off at the guys, and I don’t completely trust him not to punch one of them again,” Jared says. “Plus, I kind of wanted to take you and Rachelle out for ice cream or something afterward.”

“I look like a bad comic book villain,” I remind him, looking down at myself as Rachelle laughs. “Plus, no one is supposed to know who I am.”

“There’s a drive through movie theater in Goleta where we can go and no one will see us,” he says. “No one will care what you’re wearing, and it’ll give you a chance to unwind after.”

“What about the club?” I ask.

“Lili is going in with Elijah, Nacio, and Theo. They’ll be fine, and no one will step out of line with Lili cracking the whip,” he says.

“Then, I accept,” I say, kind of excited to have a normal night out after the hockey game.

The drive to the stadium is full of normal things, and then Rachelle twists around to focus on me.

“So, your birthday is coming up,” she says.

“It is,” I drawl, wondering where she’s going with this.

“What do you think about taking a family vacation?” she asks. “Since you’re not technically in school, we could do a long weekend somewhere. It might be too cold for the beach, but I think San Diego would be fun.”

“That honestly sounds amazing,” I say with wide eyes. “I love the cooler weather, it’s the best time for me. I haven’t been too bad the last couple of weeks, outside of not being super hungry.”

“Maybe it’s stress?” Jared asks.

“How is the toast settling?” Rachelle adds.

“It could be stress,” I reply. “The toast helped a lot.”

“Good,” Rachelle says. “Take breaks tonight, Noor. The principal can sit on his thumb and spin on it for all I care. He’s being an asshole.”

“A part of me thinks the guys have something on him. Is that crazy?” I ask.

“I used to blackmail my teachers all the time,” Jared grunts sheepishly. “It doesn’t sound out of left field at all for them. The guys are fucking amateurs, but it doesn’t make what they’re doing any less hurtful.”

“You sound like you were a hellion,” I say.

Rachelle rolls her eyes, saying, “Jared was the King of Carlysle Prep, along with the guys. They’ve grown into the men they are now and are very different.”

Jared takes her hand and squeezes, leaving me again to wonder about their past. I won’t ask, though, because I don’t want to pick at healed scabs. A part of me believes that betrayal never really heals perfectly.

I think the scars are puffy with uneven edges instead. The old cuts on my thighs give me phantom pain in memory, as if in agreement of my thoughts. Not wanting to drift away, I look out the window and begin counting the parking spotlights, noting colors of cars, and recounting the scent of my body oil. It’s not perfect, but it does help to ground me as Jared parks the car near the door I’ll need to enter for my prep school version of hell.

My hands flex inside the gloves I’m wearing as part of my costume, and I open the vehicle door before sliding the devil’s head over mine.

“Do you have the fan going inside it?” Rachelle asks as Jared turns off the car.

The parking lot is full, but most hockey fans are already inside so I can sneak in.

“It is now,” I say, my voice muffled as I hop out of the vehicle.

“Don’t take any shit,” Jared says.

I have my phone tucked into my shorts so I won’t be without it, my water bottle in my hand to stash in the locker room, and my skates. Nodding in agreement, I close the door behind me and walk to my entrance.

Rachelle and Jared will go through the front doors to get their tickets to watch the game. While students are free, everyone else needs a ticket.

A quick knock later, I’m surprised when the usually grumpy maintenance guy opens the door in a decent mood.