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I guess I should be glad that Erika and her pack arrived last night, because it means that we can keep things running around here, at least a bit. But the more practical things are going to be more complicated. Simple things, like how to have breakfast or lunch or dinner, or how to go to the loo, or how to take a shower, when we can’t even be in the house.

This is one of those moments when not having lived as an Omega for a decade is complicated.

Is it normal for Omegas to feel like this sometimes?

Is Vera taking this as just another day of being an Omega?

Or is this not normal?

Is this freaking her out as much as it’s freaking me out?

If we were alone, I would ask her right now. But I don’t want to talk about these things with all the others here. And I don’t want to send the others away either.

So, those questions will have to wait until later.

Another reason the questions will have to wait is because I need to use the loo, a lot. Which, eh, is going to be interesting.

If all this pheromone stuff had happened while we were in the house and we were hiding out in our nest, this wouldn’t have been a problem. Since we could have used our usual bathroom, but since we’re outside and the only loos around here are the ones shared with everyone else on the ground floor... Tricky.

While I wish I could stay under the blankets longer, my bladder is winning out.

I carefully sit up, which seems to wake up the rest of the pack too, and I look around.

While I don’t really want to, I guess that if I just need to take a leak, I don’t really need to go inside for that.

Vera immediately grabs my arm as I start getting up, her pheromones flaring in alarm.

I lean over, giving her a soft kiss. “I’m only going to take care of my bladder, behind a couple of trees.”

“Ah.” Her voice is soft as she slowly lets go of me. “If you need to go, you need to go.”

I can’t help laughing as I give her another kiss. “I’ll be right back.” I take a deep breath, taking in her sweet scent, and then quickly go over to the trees furthest away from the house.

On my way, I catch a few slivers of pheromones from people not in our pack, immediately giving me the same sensations as I had last night, first the revulsion and then the desperation, needing to be with my pack.

This is so fucking annoying, and it makes me angry because I don’t want any of this. I don’t want to have to deal with any of this.

Why is my body like this?

Why is my body reacting like this?

Why can’t my body just be normal?

After I’ve relieved myself, I reach up and touch some of the leaves of a nearby apple tree. It wasn’t that long ago that I kissed Riley under one of these trees, the first night she was here.

Everything, from Vera and Caleb arriving, to Jorge joining us, to meeting Riley and now finding Luca, it’s all been so fast. It hasn’t even been three months yet.

Not to forget, Vera and my pregnancy on top of all of that...

My life has changed so much in under three months. Not even a whole season has passed, and my life is nothing like it was before.

“Mathew?” Jorge is standing nearby, his eyes on me careful, filled with worry. “Everything okay?”

“I’m okay.” I pull up my shoulder. “Apart from, you know, what happened last night, but I’m okay.”

He comes closer, reaching out to me, carefully sliding his arms around me, letting his cedar scent surround me.

The careful touch, not because he’s scared or fearful of me, but because he doesn’t want to hurt me, because he’s worried about my safety, my comfort, breaks something inside me and I grip his shirt hard, pulling him closer as tears start sliding down my cheeks.