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I shrug. “It’s good money.”
She studies me for a long moment before quietly asking, “And now you’re going to retire?”
I look toward the fire. “That was my final ride in Vegas.”
She pauses. “How do you feel about that?”
“I’m still figuring it out.”
The words land between us. Just saying them out loud makes me feel like a failure. It feels real and permanent. And that’s something I haven’t worked through yet. I’m still young, and I’m not sure I’m making the right decision. But bull riding hasn’t made me happy for a long time.
She sits back and stares at me. “That’s a big decision.”
I nod and swallow. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I think it’s the right thing to do.”
“What will you do?” she asks.
“I’ve been thinking of a few things. Might work as a hand for a while. And figure out a new job.”
“What kind of job do you want to do?”
“Maybe something in broadcasting for events. I’ve had a couple of people talk about it, and it has interested me.”
She perks up immediately. “Really?”
I nod. “Commentary and interviews. Maybe mentoring younger riders.”
She smiles. “Maybe you could turn it into a reality show.”
I laugh. “I’m not sure yet. We’ll see what happens.”
“You’d be amazing at that. Younger riders would be lucky to have you mentor them.”
“Maybe,” I say with hesitation in my voice.
She catches it. “But that’s not what you want?”
I stare into the fire. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
The words come more easily than I expect. She’s so easy to talk to.
“I’ve spent half my life chasing the next buckle, the next finals, and the next sponsor. Rinse and repeat. That was the dream.”
An easy silence settles between us. Outside, the wind rattles the windows. Inside, with the fire crackling, it feels warm.
Jenna breaks the silence. “What was your dream before you got started in rodeo?”
I look over. “My dream?”
“When you were a little kid. What did you want to do? What made you happy?”
I laugh and shake my head. “I don’t know.”
She gives me a look and playfully nudges me. “You know...What was the first thing that came to your mind?”
I smile. “You really don’t let people dodge questions.”
“Nope. I’m a producer. It’s my job to figure things out. “
