Page 24
We both laugh at that.
“I’m grateful to be a part of it,” I tell her softly. “To be in you and your mom’s lives.”
She nods as if she agrees and I slip away to deliver the cookies. When I return, she has another one in her hand.
“Did you love Mom?” Nora asks, eyes on her cookie and avoiding my gaze.
“With my whole heart,” I blurt out without hesitation. “Never stopped.”
Nora’s smile is soft. “Were you scared too? She told me she was so afraid of me being second place in your life. It was to protect us. Was it the right decision?”
I stuff a cookie in my mouth so I don’t have to answer right away. The women in the Everhart family aren’t afraid to hit you directly in the gut with their words. I’m still struggling to breathe and formulate an answer.
“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “I’d like to think I would have prioritized the two of you. Maybe I would have. But there was doubt in your mom’s mind, which makes me think maybe she saw something I didn’t. Since I never ever wanted to hurt her, I let her make those decisions. It was painful and I was scared, but I believed in your mother’s confidence in her decisions.”
We’re both quiet for a moment. I’ve always had a worry deep in my soul that I might’ve thrown myself into my job and they would have been pushed to a back burner, just like Sandy predicted. Would Nora have grown up to resent me? Would Sandy have hated me for it?
“How could you sit back and watch me from afar?” Nora asks, voice nearly a whisper. “Didn’t you want to know me?”
I swallow hard and nod, blinking back tears. “I wanted to know you more than anything. Your mother sent me videos and pictures and your school artwork. I got to know you in the only way I felt I could at the time.”
She nods as a tear races down her cheek. “All those Christmases…” She laughs. “Those over-the-top gifts came from you, huh?”
I remember distinctly arguing with Sandy about a drivable Barbie car I got when Nora was four. She was afraid they were going to get kicked out of the building. It was such an ordeal, she wouldn’t agree until I reached out to the building manager. Once the building manager gave his okay, she allowed Nora to have it.
“Guilty,” I say with a smirk. “The most troublesome gift was that Barbie car.”
She grins and snatches another cookie. “I loved that car. Mom never got her deposit back because too many wall corners were damaged by me. I rode around in that thing far longer than I should have. When my knees would be up by my ears years later, Mom finally urged me to donate it.”
“I could go get you another one right now,” I suggest, patting my pockets as if to look for my keys.
“You would, wouldn’t you?”
“In a heartbeat. You know my grandchild will have one. Good thing that husband of yours is handy with repairing walls.”
Her eyes twinkle with happiness. “I’m glad you’re here, Dad.”
She groans when her phone rings. I listen to her explain to Elias that she’s very much alive and eating cookies next door. After she promises not to leave until he comes to fetch her, she ends the call and gives me a sweet smile.
“She still loves you and I can tell you still love her too. I’m rooting for you, Dad. Don’t let her make all the decisions this time. It’s time for someone else to take the lead.”
I pull Nora to me and give her a tight squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere, honey. Never again.”
It’s a promise I’ll never break.
These girls are forever mine.
9
sandy
“Budgie Bay truly is a magical place.”
Claudette, from her perch on my shoulder, watches Upton intently as he hangs stockings along the mantle just above the garland. Dad watches with pride. Something inside my heart unclenches.
This feels good.
My eyes drift over to an unopened box called “Christmas photo albums.” I’m dying to pluck them out and take a drive down memory lane, but I’m also afraid of the onslaught of emotions it may bring. Instead of facing the pain, I watch Upton as he decorates our home as if it’s his.
