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“I don’t want to see you in more trouble than you are,” he said. Lily gritted her teeth, and Sterling sighed in her silence. “I want to leave this evening after we resupply Ava for her assistance with all of this. So will Aarin and the Ashin girl to Zaitrerin. Be ready. Tensions in Markoth are growing. Kyer wants to push back not long after we return.”

Lily forced an exhale and spun to leave, running right into a pair of hands grasping her shoulders—strong hands that kept her at arm’s length.

“Watch where you’re going,” Jarek said, words warning, but tone soft. His forehead glistened with sweat, his shoulder peeking out from his shirt like he’d just thrown it on in a hurry. Lily gripped the strap of her rifle as if it could possibly keep her standing when he’d inevitably let her go.

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“I’m wonderful, jackass, thanks for asking,” Sterling jested.

The Serpent grazed over her face a breath longer before parting from her entirely. “I’m sorry. I must’ve given you the impression I really wanted to know.”

“And just where have you been?”

Jarek clasped Sterling’s awaiting arm. “Running.”

“Running?” Sterling leaned back to inspect the closest window. “Since when do you go out during the day?”

Their conversation faded to static as Lily glared at Jarek.

Said jackass had been avoiding her for three days now after telling her things that gave her hope, that made her feel seen and understood. And the way he held her hand like it was some soft, delicate thing and not the weapon of his family’s greatest enemy twisted a knot deep in her belly she couldn’t unravel.

Then he left her there. Alone, flustered, exhausted, confused… Gods, was she more confused than anything. She bared some of the deepest, most secluded parts of herself to him, expecting nothing in return, and he told her she could be more than a vicious Wraith while everyone else was telling her that was all she could be. He lifted her up, holding her in his arms long enough to revel in his warmth and then just as quickly dropped her back into the pit she almost crawled out of.

Of course he would, she told herself later. Jarek was still Valen’s First Incarnation. She was still Keara’s reincarnation. She shouldn’t expose her soul to him when he once would’ve easily destroyed it without a second thought.

Whatever passed between them was a mistake—if it was real at all. Like everything else, it all came down to getting Lily on side with Rimore. He was manipulating her in a way he found more honorable than using the Serpent. Just like he had with Aarin. He knew that, and Lily knew that, so why was she spending so much time thinking about Jarek when she had bigger worries stacked higher than she could reach? Worries he personally contributed to, apologetic or not?

She whirled around, concealing her emotions as they grew into something horrendous she couldn't contain.

“Lils,” Sterling cautioned, but she was already yanking open the door.

“I’m going for a walk. Alone.”

She left, slamming the door behind her and heading down a path led by memory, through fields of dormant trees and air that smelled of bark and early winter. Pulse speeding, she finally stopped at a weathered fence blocking the meadow beyond Ava’s property. Her will itched to carry her farther, but her body lingered like she was taking root.

Feelings were easy to bottle up, situations she could steer away from, opinions she could ignore. But now, standing here, wanting to leave this place for a second time, everything started to surface—leaking from a crack she didn’t know was there, nor when it appeared. Luka falling into her life might’ve broken the seal. Kyer’s disappointment, or maybe Maude’s anger. Sterling’s disapproval. Gwyneth’s death. Estelle’s stare. Jarek’s avoidance. Or even as far back as the day her family died. The day the future she wanted for herself died.

Leaving would relieve the pain.

Lily clenched her fists. Even if she could, she didn’t want to run! And that was what infuriated her the most. She was choosing to be here, to act as an Imordial, to try and do the right thing, and it still wasn’t enough to make peace with her soul.

Jarek was wrong. She couldn’t afford to be more. She needed to be a killer. Bringer of death and decay. A reaper. The reaper. She needed to stop pretending like she could be anything more. That was her future, regardless of who was in it or how they saw her. The guilt, remorse, worry, anxiety—it couldn’t hurt her if she stopped trying to give.

Throwing her gun to the ground, Lily blindly reached for a rock and hurled it as far as she could. She grabbed at another and another until her chest was heaving and the Wraith engorged her veins. Dropping to her knees, she dug her fingers into the dirt, searching for the next stone. The earth beneath her feet turned to dust, and Lily immediately recoiled.

The scorch in the earth stopped, but the aftermath encompassed the immediate area around her and past the fence. She froze, struck by how quickly it happened. How easy it was. How it took almost nothing from her.

Behind her, the prowling of two sets of paws ignited a new spark in her gut. Growling, Lily pointed her rifle in its direction, ready to face it head on, once and for all.

But it vanished between the trees, its presence lingering in the air even as Lily’s rage dissipated with the wind.

Solitude may have been what she needed after all.

The beast eventually left, and when it did, Lily crept back up to a crouch, examined the damage, then proceeded to discharge plasma into an oak tree across the field until it felt like a waste of energy. She stripped her coat, tucking it behind her head to lay in the dried earth with the warm spiced aura.

A branch snapped to her right.

Not again. “I thought I told you to”—Lily sat up, ready to fire more expletives at the creature, instead freezing—“go… Ivy?” She pushed her glasses to the top of her head. “What are you doing?”