Page 16 of Zodiac Beasts

“The incubus half of my blood helps a lot with night vision.” He said, shifting his turquois demon eyes back into his standard, human-ish looking ones. “Curiously enough, most of magic kind has superior vision in general. The fact that you need glasses tells me your species must involve eye sight somehow.” He paused as he started scanning the rows of boxes, looking for whatever he was looking for. “Have you attempted to ask you parents about your heritage yet?”

“I have, but my mom’s being secretive about it for some reason.” I remained by the door, shifting nervously on my feet. “She wants to tell me in person, so she booked a flight for after finals so as not to disrupt my semester. Since, you know, this hasn’t disrupted my semester at all.” I motioned vaguely towards everything. “I don’t know why she’s being so tight lipped, considering it’s literally my blood too.”

Adrian frowned. “There are a lot of reasons certain species may not want to speak openly about their genetics, even to their own offspring. While some of us consider our bloodlines and the associated characteristics to be gifts, just as many see them as curses.”

The implication was clear, but I still wanted to ask. “Is being an Incubus usually considered a curse or a gift?”

“Depends on who you ask.” He dodged the question, so I pressed again.

“I’m asking you.”

“A curse.” He stated with finality. “Call it trauma or call it a defect, but I’ve never desired casual relationships, while an Incubus’ practically requires them to survive. I can stave off my own needs for a while by feeding on the emotions of those around me, but eventually there’s a tipping point where I need another body in my bed.”

“Why not just find someone not casual? It seems like a good marriage with a healthy sex life would be enough to keep that in check?” It didn’t sound that tragic, honestly. There was no reason someone as attractive, intelligent, and successful as Adrian wouldn’t be able to find a relationship if he had any desire to form one.

“It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?” The question was purely rhetorical. “But imagine your beloved partner turns you down for intimacy—be it for health reasons, mood, any reason at all—when you’re a man who needs sex in order to survive. So then what do you do? The first or second time they say no, you might be able to handle abstaining. But should they be in a position where they can’t or don’t want to have sex for weeks or months on end, what options would I then have?” My eyes widened as I started to put his point together. “After a certain point, survival instincts will take over. Which means either I cheat on my partner, or I forcefully take my partner to feed my monster. Both being soul shattering and heartbreaking betrayals that no one deserves.”

“Oh.” I frowned on his behalf.

“Historically, Incubus have always bred with Succubus, where neither person has an expectation of monogamy, because sex is a utilitarian, life sustaining act. But I’m half shifter—an Astrology shifter no less—which is a species that is obsessed with mate pacts and permanent commitments. I don’t fit in with Incubus, and I don’t fit in with shifters, and that’s why, despite the wings, the tail, the ability to partial shift, I would never call any of my unique characteristics a gift to myself or anyone else.”

Though he spoke so casually, the confession seemed heavy and tragic in my mind. But it also got me curious.

“Have you reached that tipping point since you met me?”

“You are the tipping point.” He rolled his eyes, but his expression was unexpectedly playful. “Are you asking if I’ve been with someone else since you showed up?” He practically laughed out the words. The absurdity of the question had me blushing.

“I mean, sex is how you feed, right? There was at least one month that we didn’t uh…” vocalizing this situation was still so weird and awkward. “You skipped the month of Aquarius. Did you, umm…” It wasn’t my business, was it? If he was out having a one night stand every night—if he had a real relationship somewhere, and I was an unfortunate side piece—it wasn’t like he owed me anything. I didn’t have a claim on him, and his brother had as much of a claim on me as he did, so I would be completely unfair and unreasonable to expect a literal sex demon to be exclusively with me. “How often do you need to feed?”

“Admitting this to you right now seems ill advised, but I’m going to be candid for a moment.” If Adrian was capable of embarrassment, I might have thought the very slight redness in his cheeks was a blush. “Marking you and feeding my monster on full moons with your body has been unusually satiating. Normally I need someone at least once a month—often once a week, and it’s always been more of a chore than pleasure. But these days…” He cleared his throat, like he was stalling to collect his thoughts. “I don’t know if it’s because you’re the first person I’ve ever marked, or if there’s something about your genetics that has calmed that urge, but while I can’t control myself on a full moon night, I have more control over my monster than ever outside of them.”

I didn’t know if Adrian realized he just admitted that I was all he needed in his life, but I was going to hold onto that. “So it was a good thing that all of this happened then?”

“Let’s not go that far.” My professor scoffed, though his amused expression didn’t come off as terribly bothered by that revelation. He was such a confusing person. “But if you were worried that I’ve been worse off since I met you, not in that regard.” He paused, then added. “And only in that regard.”

That made me frown. Whether it helped him or not, ultimately our relationship wasn’t entirely chosen by either of us. But for me, if I had no choice but to be tied to him, I just wanted to get to know him. As it stood, I knew more about his cock than I did his favorite color. He was so caught up in the power imbalance of him being my teacher and me, his student, but I didn’t care about superficial things like that. If shifters really were immortal, then a 12 year age gap and uneven dynamic would only really mean something for a blink of an eye in our lifetimes.

It was his personal and professional objection, however, that overrode all logic and reason between us.

“I just wish I knew what I was, so I could have some idea of what part I played in all of this. I still feel like I trapped you.”

“You did no such thing.” The emphasis implied that someone else had, though I couldn’t see how anyone else could be blamed for me walking into the cafeteria that night. “But I’m sure your mother will clear everything up when she arrives.”

“When she arrives.” I repeated bitterly. “In almost two months.”

“Don’t judge her too harshly.” Adrian shook his head. “I’m sure she has her reasons for holding back. Take it from a Hybrid, but magic kind can still be rather archaic on their views of the topic of interspecies pairing, and most of us try not to openly advertise who and what we are. Considering the earliest devils and angels have existed since the dawn of known time, there’s no good excuse for how slowly race relations have progressed among species, but reality is what it is, regardless of what it should be. I often think we’re more beasts with human forms than humans with beast forms.”

The set off a light bulb in my head. “Wait, do you think that could mean one of my parents is a hybrid, too?”

Adrian stopped dead. His lips parted ever so slightly, then he shook his head. “I couldn’t say. But I also couldn’t say that’s impossible, considering your family chose to live rather far from Graves. That could be a personal choice or that could be a… necessity.” He touched his index finger to his lips in thought. “I’ve never heard of a three or four species Hybrid, but I suppose it would be foolish and ignorant to assume it can’t happen, considering. To be honest, I don’t actually know if hybrid species are fertile. Shifter hierarchies and Incubus breeding requirements are rather complex on their own, but combining species together isn’t a well-studied or understood biology, and I don’t have any references to clear up those questions. I’ve been careful to limit my chances over the years just in case.” He stopped himself again. He drew in a heavy breath through his nose.

He knew what question was coming, and I obliged. “Were you careful with me?”

He swallowed, then turned his face away. “You would already be pregnant if my beast was capable with you.”

I accepted the response, not even wanting to know what exactly that meant. He knew more about how that worked for both sides of his bloodline than I did anyway, so I wasn’t going to argue. I was just glad he was being open with me for once. I didn’t want to risk messing that up.

Adrian rubbed his neck thoughtfully as he added, “But until we figure out what you are, we don’t know how your fertility works, either. Typically a Beta can only be impregnated by an Omega, but the other half of your bloodline could either be something incredibly safe or incredibly volatile.”