Page 61 of Unapologetic Love Story

Nick was always the last to leave each dinner, and Matt would collapse into bed directly after. Dishes would sit in the sink and Raina would try to coax a little quality time out of her boyfriend. He would prod and grasp at her, but if she was in need of gentle words instead of rushed, sloppy sex, he would roll over and fall asleep with such efficiency, it made Raina slightly envious.

She would lie awake for hours, wondering if the numbness she felt after nights like that was a normal part of a relationship.

Now, in hindsight, Raina could see his selfishness and her own denial. Staying for potential instead of reality. As she looked at Matt’s dark circles and some unwashed sleep sand in the corner of his eye, she found it curious.

He obviously wasn’t sleeping so soundly these days.

‘I’m all right,’ he said. Then, after glancing around, ‘Not great, though. Missing you, Rai.’

Raina felt mild embarrassment at his inability to wait until after the candles had been blown out before making her feel guilty. She decided a swift and brutal change of subject would be the wisest choice, and if he ignored it, a change of conversation partner. ‘How’s work?’

They’d known each other long enough for him to recognize what she was doing. He allowed it. ‘It’s fine. A bit boring, but fine.’

‘Okay, great. Excuse me.’ She cast a cursory glance towards Nick as she dismissed them both. She turned and made her way to the kitchen, smiling tightly at guests as she did. Through the wall, she could almost feel the living room vibrating with singing and dancing, as most of the party had already migrated through there.

She sipped cold water from the fridge and looked at the kitchen island. A Liberty bag and the most beautiful bouquet of blue hydrangeas were sat right on the edge. She hadn’t asked for gifts and most people had obviously received that memo.

Except this person.

She bent her head to smell the flowers and closed her eyes at the sweet aroma. She opened a cupboard to retrieve the famous butt vase, placing it on the table and pouring the rest of her water inside. She was arranging the beautiful blue flowers when a figure walked into the room.

They looked at one another while she added a little more water into the vase.

‘They’re beautiful,’ Raina finally said to him. ‘Just stunning.’

Tom Branimir nodded. ‘Happy birthday for tomorrow.’

‘Thank you.’

Maybe it was the London heat. That early summer heat that always made the country fall to its knees in amazement and despair. Maybe it was the cool marble beneath her fingers or the scent of the flowers. Maybe it was the serene contentedness that comes when, upon seeing an ex, you realize that everything worked out for the better, that your career means more to you than what you used to have. Your community and the role you play inside of it fills that empty space more completely than being able to tell people you’re not single.

Maybe it was just his rolled-up sleeves and his mess of black hair.

Whatever it was, Raina really wanted to kiss Tom Branimir. It felt like a physical ache.

She quickly turned her face away, scooping up the vase and moving it to a countertop.

She was so used to being alone. Especially during quiet moments at a party.

No one ever came looking for her. She’d always been at peace with that.

‘I need regular breaks from my own party,’ she heard herself say, her voice a mix of self-deprecation and apology.

He was watching her, his stare so unaffected by her attempts at levity. He moved closer, and for a moment Raina really thought he might close the space between them. Instead, he touched one hand to the large purple bag. ‘I brought you this as well.’

Raina slipped the present out of its packaging, gently ripping the tissue paper to reveal a large cushion.

‘Oh, my God!’

She laughed, a full-throated, diaphragm-pinching laugh at the sight of the red dinosaur on the tasselled blue velvet pillow. A T-rex that seemed to grin at her in a camp, knowing way.

‘This is amazing,’ she gasped, her eyes shooting up to meet his. ‘It’s so . . . brilliantly weird.’

He was smiling, his eyes bright with mischief, and it made Raina laugh even harder. His choice of flowers felt intimate and personal, but this cushion was worryingly close to perfect. A present choice that suggested Tom Branimir might truly see through her haze.

‘I thought a woman who liked vases shaped like an arse would also like dinosaur cushions,’ he said, his voice deep and assured, sending sparks through Raina.

‘I love it,’ she replied. She hugged it against her stomach. ‘Thank you.’