Page 39 of Yearning Difficulties

Sure enough, the album cover was a picture of her looking uncharacteristically serious. She was sitting against a wall with faded but beautiful wallpaper. She wore a black cocktail dress underneath a faux-fur coat and her mascara was very slightly smudged. She’d kicked off a pair of heels. Her long strawberry blonde hair was piled on top of her head.

Cherry: Curst in Company was printed on the bottom of the cover. I turned it over. There were twelve songs on the track list. ‘Did you write all of these songs?’

‘All except number twelve,’ she said, matter-of-factly. ‘“What’ll I Do”. That’s Irving Berlin – wish I could claim it.’

‘But all the others?’

‘Mine. Mostly last summer. I went through a massive special interest in Shakespeare and here we are. Plus, one of the many schools I was in before moving here put all the “special” kids in a music room. So I taught myself piano and a bit of guitar.’

I couldn’t believe how casual she was being, so dismissive of something so incredible. I tried to think of a reasonable question, something that wouldn’t betray my incredulity.

‘Hardly anyone makes CDs any more. Is it on streaming?’

‘It is but CDs and vinyl are so much better. I think actual artistry needs physical media. I don’t want some billionaire with a streaming site to take my work away from people if they like it.’

I shook my head in amazement. ‘Can I buy this?’

She dropped her pen and turned to stare at me. ‘Do you mean that?’

‘Yes!’

Something sad entered her eyes but she covered it with shyness. ‘Thanks, Zella. No cost, have that one for free.’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Positive.’

I slipped Cherry’s album into my bag after Philosophy and made my way to the school gates.

‘Zella!’

I stopped at the sound of Mr Hamilton, my English teacher.

‘Sir?’

‘Wanted to let you know I’ve sent your portfolio of creative writing to Dr Bergery. With my written letter of recommendation. As we discussed before the summer.’

I felt my face break into a truly grateful smile. ‘Thank you so much.’

‘I’d hate to speak ill of a co-worker, but she’d be a fool not to accept you.’

‘I appreciate that.’

I thanked him again and he headed back into the school building, saying something about mock exams. I set off for Lake Pristine. I slipped my enormous headphones on and pressed play on the same playlist I listened to every day. The walk through the woods had started to feel like a chore. It was a good opportunity to decompress after school but I found myself wishing that someone else was walking it with me.

It had started to spit so I increased my speed a little when a car suddenly pulled up next to me.

‘Red, get in.’

Killian had wound down the passenger window so he could lean over and bark orders at me.

‘No one’s watching,’ I replied glibly. ‘You don’t have to be nice.’

Once again, I meant it as a joke but it sounded callous. He didn’t seem to mind though. He reached over to open the passenger door. ‘Get in or I’ll come out and make you, fake girlfriend or not. It’s raining.’

I threw him an annoyed look but climbed in. It was nice to be instantly warm and dry, and I put Cherry’s album on. I was immediately blown away by her incredible voice. She didn’t sound like anybody else. The music crawled inside of me and made me want to run. I turned to Killian, my mouth a perfect ‘o’ but he only nodded.

‘I know,’ he said. ‘She’s unbelievable. It’s annoying.’