Page 26 of Who’s That Girl?

‘Really?’ Unexpectedly, I feel a beat of dismay. Which is ridiculous. Like I care if he’s married.

‘Um, maybe not.’ She shrugs. ‘Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know anything any more.’

She looks really down and I give her arm a squeeze. ‘Vanessa, are you OK?’

‘Not really.’ She shakes her head. ‘I think Julian is having an affair with his secretary.’

Boom. Out of the blue. Just like that. I glance across at her sharply, almost expecting it to be one of her black-humoured jokes, but she’s totally straight-faced. So that’s what this is all about.

‘No way,’ I say, leaping to his defence. ‘Julian would never do that.’

‘He’s been working late at the office for months, and then one day I just happened to pop in to see him and I saw them together.’

‘Together doing what?’ I demand.

‘Nothing that would incriminate them in a court of law, but …’ Her voice trails off and she sucks hard on her cigarette. ‘It was their body language. I could just tell.’

‘You’re imagining it,’ I say, shaking my head resolutely. ‘You’re tired with the kids. He’s working late. Your mind runs away with itself.’

She looks at me doubtfully. ‘You think so?’

‘Absolutely.’ I nod vigorously.

Reaching her house, we walk down the driveway and she plonks herself on the wall. Hidden from the house behind Julian’s Range Rover, she stubs out her cigarette and immediately lights up another. ‘I don’t know … I’m sure I saw something …’

‘I promise you, you’re imagining it,’ I say, sitting down next to her. ‘Look, if it’s any consolation, I was at the traffic lights yesterday morning and for a moment I thought I saw myself in another car,’ I confess.

‘God, at least I’m not that bad,’ she says, pulling a face.

‘Well, obviously I didn’t really think it was me,’ I add quickly. ‘But even so it was very freaky. She looked just like I did when I was twenty-one.’

‘Twenty-one …’ Vanessa sighs wistfully. She stares into the middle distance. ‘If only I knew then what I know now.’

‘Like what?’ I ask curiously.

‘Like smoking isn’t cool, so don’t start.’ She smiles ruefully. ‘Because in ten years’ time you’re going to find it hell to give up.’ She exhales smoke through her nostrils. ‘And have as many lie-ins as you can manage because once you have kids, you’ll never have another one. Oh, and wear miniskirts.’

She says this totally seriously and I look at her in surprise. In my whole life I have only ever seen Vanessa in black trousers.

‘But you’ve never worn miniskirts,’ I say.

‘Exactly,’ she replies. ‘I should have. I always thought my legs were too fat, but I look at old photos of me and I was so skinny.’

‘So wear a miniskirt now.’

‘Are you kidding?’ she tuts, staring dolefully down at her legs. ‘I’m too old and fat.’

‘Don’t be silly, you look great.’

Finishing the cigarette, she opens a packet of Maltesers and cracks one open on her back molars. ‘Maybe I should go on that cucumber and cabbage diet you were talking about. What can you eat on it?’

‘You don’t eat.’

She looks at me agog, her hand moving on autopilot from Malteser packet to mouth without taking her eyes off me.

‘You just drink the juice.’

‘For how long?’