Page 83 of Who’s That Girl?

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.

Still dancing, I try edging away, but Mr Bump ’n’ Grind is having none of it. Putting on all the moves, he follows me around the dance floor like my shadow, until it’s all too much. Yelling in Lottie’s ear, ‘I’m just nipping to the loo,’ I leave him and his thrusting hips behind.

Phew.

Heaving a sigh of relief, I reach the safety of the ladies and squeeze inside. As usual, there’s a long queue, but I really do need to pee after drinking all that water, and so, resigning myself to a long wait, I lean against the wall. My feet are throbbing in their stilettos. They hurt before, but now after so much dancing they’re ready to murder me. I wince, tugging off one of the heels and releasing my foot, like a cork from a bottle.

Rubbing my sore toes, my mind slides back to the dance floor. Talk about a lucky escape. Another second longer and I’d have been pinned to the DJ stand by his gyrating hips. I give a little shudder at the thought, which unexpectedly turns into a giggle. Well, I suppose he was rather comical, I muse, replaying a clip of him in my head doing that weird shaking thing with his body. And at least it was a good excuse to leave the dance floor.

Saying that, I didn’t actually want to leave the dance floor, I realise. It wasn’t that bad. In fact I was sort of beginning to enjoy myself.

Oh, who am I kidding? I was having a total blast.

As I have a flashback to myself boogieing on down, I catch myself smiling. It must have released all those endorphins or whatever they are, I decide, feeling in a good mood. I mean, I never would have thought it possible, but I had fun. And while sober! What a total shock that was.

And talking about total shocks, what about Olly! I’m still reeling from the discovery that this really lovely barman and that really annoying guy from the gastropub are one and the same person. I just can’t wrap my head around it. Or the implications.

I mean, it’s perfectly harmless having a crush on someone who’s ten years younger than me, but what happens when he’s not a decade younger? When he’s the same age as me. When it’s real. Does that mean it’s no longer harmless? I feel a jolt of panic.

Which of course is completely ridiculous, as I don’t even like him now, let alone have a crush on him.

‘’Scuse me, do you have a light?’

My thoughts are interrupted by a voice and I stop rubbing my feet and look up.

Hang on, that sounds just like—

Vanessa.

Standing next to me with her peroxide hair and bright red lipstick, she waves her unlit cigarette hopefully and smiles her big toothy smile. God, it’s good to see her. I feel a rush of affection and have to resist the urge to throw my arms round her and give her a big hug.

‘Jesus.’

I suddenly realise she’s peering at me, her brow creased up in consternation, as if she’s just noticed me for the first time.

‘Excuse me?’ I try to make my voice sound as normal as possible, but my heart is thumping. She knows it’s me.

‘Oh, nothing.’ She shakes her head dismissively. ‘For a moment you reminded me of someone.’

‘I do?’ I wait in anticipation, caught between fear and excitement.

‘No, you did. For, like, a second. But actually you’re nothing like her.’

For a fleeting moment I’m struck by a curious flash of disappointment. I know I’ve changed a lot, and thank goodness I’ve changed a lot, but surely I’m not a completely different person now from the best friend she used to have then.

Am I?

‘Oh, just ignore me,’ she continues. ‘I’m all over the place at the moment. That’s the problem with being in love.’ She tuts loudly, but it’s fairly obvious it isn’t a problem. Far from it. ‘Do you know, someone once told me being in love is a form of madness, and it’s true!’ Letting out a snort of laughter, she starts digging around in her pink satin-quilted clutch, which is shaped like a strawberry.

I watch her. It seems so strange to see Vanessa with such a tiny bag. Now she’s had Ruby and Sam, you never see her without one of those giant tote bags, filled to the brim with masses and masses of stuff.

‘Damn, I could have sworn I had a lighter in here.’

‘Hang on, I think I’ve got some matches.’ Sliding my hand into my jacket pocket, I locate some that I took from the bowl on the bar. Now everywhere’s no-smoking, you don’t see free matches any more and I always need them for my aromatherapy candles. I pass a packet to her.

‘Thanks.’ She smiles gratefully and, lighting her cigarette, takes a long drag as we slowly shuffle forward. ‘Huh, this is taking for ever,’ she complains, blowing smoke down her nostrils. ‘My boyfriend’s going to think I’ve run off with another man.’ Leaning closer, she confides, ‘Well, he’s not really my boyfriend yet. We’ve only been out three times, but I’ve already fallen madly in love with him.’ She smiles excitedly. ‘His name’s Julian and he’s training to be a lawyer.’

I listen in fascination as she gushes away to me, a total stranger, like people do when they’re all loved up and just want to tell anyone and everyone who will listen about how lucky they are, and how amazing it feels, and how wonderful he is. And yet of course I know all this. I’ve heard it all before.