Page 7 of A Monster’s Future

I’d lock myself back up feeling inexplicably guilty. And if I were lucky, I’d survive the rest of the rut alone. That had been every rut ever since I’d met her. It had confused me at the time, but I understood why now.

Had Julie joined the rut anyway? Despite my messages? I hadn’t allowed myself to find out or even to question it until now.

The look she’d exchanged with Ashtrr told me that she had and had spent time with him.

The jealous and possessive thoughts burned through me, hot and ugly. I had no right to this anger. Julie didn’t even know I was her mate. Still didn’t. I’d spent years suppressing the bond, burying it under layers of discipline, distance, and bond-numbing drugs. How could I participate in the rut and expect her not to?

Now, standing there with the weight of my own hypocrisy pressing down on me, I approached her launch frame.

Big greenish-brown eyes full of fire glared back at me.

But we were surrounded by her people, and there was nothing to do but check her harness and restraints. They were too loose, and I pulled them as tight as I could. She was simply too small for the frame. These frames were meant for Kadrixan soldiers, not tiny, defenseless human females.

“You are too small for this frame,” I grumbled as I yanked on the strap again.

They’d filled in the hollow spot at the back where their nonexistent wings were supposed to go with foam, but the only human who seemed to fit was Igor. To maintain safety, they’d added extra padding to every surface of the launch frame. It would have to do.

“You mean the frame is too big for me,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m the perfect size.”

When she shifted in her seat and my fingers touched her skin, I realized I was in more trouble than I’d thought. I froze there, the blood pounding in my ears, my awareness completely focused on the spot we touched. The suppressant was still in my system, but it was fading fast. Not realizing she was on the mission, I’d failed to take the last dose of the suppressant, planning to use it when I got back. Now that decision haunted me.

If I ever doubted the effectiveness of the suppressant, then I was about to find out just how much it had helped me these past few years. I wasn’t the only one affected either.

Julie’s eyes went wide, and her mouth dropped open. Then, slowly, the look in her eyes changed, the fire in them turning almost sensual. The unmistakable scent of lust filled my nostrils, and I realized I was starting to produce the telltale pheromones needed to claim her as my mate, and it was affecting her. I tightened her harness quickly and snatched my hands away like her touch had seared my flesh.

I darted my gaze around to see if anyone else had noticed. No one had. That moment had only been between us.

I wondered if she knew how close I’d been to dropping to my knees right there in front of her.

She huffed out a breath, the look on her face changing back to anger.

“Why try to help me at all when I disgust you so much?” she asked through gritted teeth, her voice low.

It might not be enough for the other humans to hear, but the Kadrixans in the room most definitely caught it. Within moments, Ashtrr was there, shoving me out of the way with a snarl and checking the rest of her setup.

Before I could react, Trsak was there, pulling me away and down the corridor toward the bridge. As a medic, my launch frame was usually in the corner of the room with the troops. But with only a handful of Kadrixans on board, Krxare had explained that I’d be in the bridge, monitoring sensors and conditions since I technically outranked everyone other than Ashtrr and Trsak.

“Are we going to have problems with you on this trip? I don’t know what you have against that female, but if you start causing trouble, I will throw you into the brig and keep you there if I have to.”

“The frames do not fit the smaller humans.” I sat in my seat and reached for my own harness, even as I caught the small, distinct sound of Julie’s voice thanking Ashtrr.

I hated that she was so nice to him and so thorny to me.

“We are aware, but the simulation showed that the precautions we’ve taken will be enough.”

Fuck. It had. I remembered reading that now. But that was before I realized Julie would be one of the humans not properly strapped in.

“Why is she here?” I asked again.

“We told you, she’s here on behalf of the Ellaston Gazette.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You know that special scribe at the queen’s court whose job is to relay the information to the public? That would be Julie.”

That was a dangerous profession. She would be a target. Did she choose it just to worry me?

Ashtrr stepped onto the bridge, and the portal sealed shut behind him.