Page 167 of Chaos At Second Sight

Could it be?

Had I blamed my animal side all these years for something I had done?

Had I hidden the trauma of killing my brother behind the convenient explanation of losing control?

If Lucien and I were one, it meant that…I’d killed my half-brother too.

I shut my eyes and the darkness answered with memories.

My palms stained with blood, my heart crumbling.

Francisca’s screams as she pulled out her hair.

Bella crying.

My brother’s lifeless body as I held him to me, his throat sliced open for the whole world to see.

“Logan, you don’t have to process all of this now.”

Our eyes met. Only then did I realize tears were running down my face. And hers.

We stayed like that for a long time, long enough for the night to fade toward morning.

We rode through my trauma together, talking until there was nothing left inside me.

“Daniel wasn’t supposed to die,” I whispered. “He was only a child. Surrounded by people who didn’t accept him.”

“I know.”

“He was misunderstood. He didn’t mean to hurt Bella, I’m sure of it.”

“I know.”

“He had his own trauma. His own things to carry.”

“I’m sure he did.”

I kept talking. Pulling out skeleton after skeleton I’d convinced myself I had buried. Yvaine stayed and met every single one.

“Why don’t we ask Lucien what really happened that day?”

I shook my head.

I wasn’t ready, not after all the years I’d spent blaming him.

“You may have lost your brother under horrible circumstances. You may have had a hard start. But you still have time to reconnect with yourself.” She squeezed my hand. “With Lucien.”

I scoffed. “I don’t think so. We are different. We’ve always been separate.”

But then I thought about all the times I’d let him out because Yvaine had asked me to. About the people he’d saved. Yvaine. Amaia. Maybe Bella. People who would be dead without him.

“There’s always time.” She kissed my hand. “And Lucien adores you.”

My heart stumbled.

“What exactly are you proposing? A picnic between me and the beast?”

“No, but⁠—”