Page 90 of The Little Board Game Café

‘No. Yes. I don’t know.’

Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. She didn’t want him to know she was crying. Didn’t want him to ask questions she couldn’t answer. So she made no attempt to brush the tears away, leaving them to soak into the pillow and a damp patch to form under her cheek.

Her breathing must have given her away, as Ludek said, ‘Emily, are you crying?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered.

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know. I can’t explain.’

She could feel him moving behind her. The bedside light came on. She turned to see he’d sat up. She sat up too, pulling the duvet over her naked breasts.

‘Emily, you did want this, didn’t you? I mean, I would never have forced you.’

‘You didn’t. I wanted it. I can’t explain. It doesn’t make sense. Not even to me. I like you, Ludek. Really like you. But afterwards, I felt…fear, I think. But I don’t know what I felt afraid of. And I had this urge to leave. And I honestly don’t know why.’

And that was the truth. She couldn’t explain it. Not even to herself.

Chapter Thirty-Two

‘I’m sorry if I rushed things,’ he said next morning. ‘I didn’t mean to make you want to run off.’

Emily felt her cheeks reddening as she remembered sneaking downstairs. She took a sip of coffee. This was awkward. The morning after the night before. She wondered how Kate did it; all those internet dates; those nights she didn’t come home. She must have had so many mornings like this. An awkward breakfast with a stranger. Tottering home in her heels and the previous evening’s clothes. No wonder she’d been so excited to have found Freddie.

At least Ludek wasn’t a stranger. Although she felt strangely distant from him now.

‘Do you want something to eat?’ he said.

‘No, I’ll grab something at the café. Speaking of which, I should get going.’

‘I thought you didn’t open on a Sunday?’

Was it Sunday? Yes, she supposed it must be.

‘Stock-take,’ she said.

He nodded.

She drained her mug and hopped off the bar stool. Should she kiss him goodbye? On the lips? Or the cheek? Or should she just say, ‘See you at board games on Friday’ as if nothing had happened?

‘I guess I’ll see you at board games on Friday,’ he said as if he’d read her mind.

‘Yes, okay.’

‘I think perhaps we should stick to just being friends after all.’

Again, she felt a strange mix of disappointment and relief. In equal measures.

‘Okay, I…’ She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. ‘Perhaps I need a bit more time. Maybe the break-up affected me more than I thought. Perhaps you were right – steer clear of women who are on the rebound.’

‘I will in future.’

But she didn’t think that being on the rebound was the problem. Actually, she was sure that it wasn’t.

*

She was surprised to find the front door of Kate’s house was unlocked. She knew she’d locked it the previous evening, so this could mean only one thing: her friend was home. Odd. Weren’t Sunday mornings for long lie-ins and shagging Freddie? Or had they reached the Sunday papers, filter coffee and croissants stage of their relationship?