Page 123 of The Plus One Pact

"No." She shakes her head. "I'm afraid. But I'm trying. Maybe I should try harder. Admit the really ugly things." She pats the spot on the bed next to her. "Maybe we could try it like this. Side by side. It can be easier."

"As pillow talk…" I offer. "That can be easier."

"Are you trying to change the subject to sex?"

"The subject is sex," I say.

She laughs. "I guess that's true. But it's a different sort of take."

"And that's another way to share."

"Oh?" Her eyes perk. "Do you have another fantasy? I'm listening."

"Yes, but that's not what I mean." Maybe I do want to use sex as a way to hide. But I also want to use it as a way to reveal myself. "Remember my apartment? The way I made you seduce me?"

Her blush deepens. "I do."

"I want to do that. If I have your permission. To do exactly what I want with you."

"You mean in a dominant sort of way?"

"No. That isn't my thing. Too rigid and intellectual. It's more permission to be selfish."

"Most men don't ask permission."

That's probably true. "You can still use a safe word. No. Promise to use it if anything is too much. Or painful. I know that's an issue for a lot of women."

"Are you going to rush things?" she asks.

"No. I like slow." I always have. The anticipation is half the fun. That's the thing I love and hate about my job. There's no mystery. No question to whether or not we'll have sex and how it will go. Just the roles we've both agreed to play. "But I might not be quite as attentive."

"Right now?" she asks.

"If you're game."

She smiles. "Okay. But I still want to talk to you after."

I offer my pinkie to swear.

She smiles as she hooks her pinkie with mine. "So how does it work, if you're not issuing orders?"

"I take what I want. You take what you want. Either of us can stop at any moment."

"So, you could get me almost there and stop?"

"And you could too."

"That's a very evil idea," she says. "I might turn it around on you."

"I hope you do."

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Ivy

Isuppose, in a way, it's strange to specify this framework for sex. Isn't it supposed to be two people getting what they want?

But we tend to see pleasure as something our partner gives us. Not something we take for ourselves.