Page 147 of The Plus One Pact

Maybe that’s the smart move, but it feels wrong. Dishonest.

If it’s what he wants, I’ll do it. I’ll give him that option.

But I need to do more. I need to do something else for myself. "I need to apologize. Make it right somehow. Or… I could stay in New York in hiding for the next ten years. I'm not recognizable yet, am I?"

"Give it a few days."

"I'll dye my hair."

"You'd look cute with a pixie cut," she says.

The car slides onto the freeway. It's already afternoon. The road is jammed.

It won't be a fast trip into the city.

More time to talk. More time for this to sink in, I guess.

"What did he say?" she asks. "When you talked to him about it?"

I clear my throat.

"Ivy."

"What?"

"You didn't talk to him."

"We talked, yes,," I say.

“What do you mean, ‘we talked, yes’? Did you explain everything or not?”

“You didn’t see his face, Mer. He was so disappointed. Like I broke his heart.”

“Maybe you did.”

My stomach sinks. Maybe I did. But if I broke his heart, that means I had his heart. And maybe that means I can have it again.

I look out the window and watch the cars stop and go. We're not close enough to see the city yet. When was I last in New York City? In any city other than Los Angeles?

Maybe Meredith is right. I need a vacation. To get far away from the place where everyone knows everything about me. To leave the place where I failed at all the things I wanted to do.

“Are you going to reach out?” she asks.

I should. I know I should. But it’s scary. "He knows how to get in touch. He hasn’t.” I hold up my cell phone as proof.

She looks at the screen. "It's still on airplane mode."

Damn, she's right. "But if he hasn't, then…"

"Then you can still be the one to reach out to him and say, hey, can we talk?"

Technically true. But it means something, doesn't it? If he hasn't tried to talk to me.

I unlock my phone. I stare at the airplane mode icon like it has the power to change my entire life.

Finally, I press the button.

A flurry of texts arrives.