Page 54 of The Plus One Pact

But there are other hormones I won't feel. And these sensations in my body, this urge to be closer to him—

That's not an everyone thing.

That's rare and special and pure and human.

This time, when I take his hands, he lets me. I bring them to my breasts. I kiss him as he toys with me.

The same horrible, beautiful agonizing teasing.

Until I need more. Until I shift off his lap.

I stand and do away with my slacks.

Then the underwear.

"Here or in your bedroom?" I ask.

"Is that a question?" he returns. "Or a desire."

It's a tough call, actually. There is something sexy about the couch. The urgency of it. The ability to position myself so I'm sitting on top of him.

But then the bed…

That's just classic.

"Bedroom. Now." A demanding tone drops into my voice. It's slight, but it's enough to surprise me. I want him that much. I'm that ready to throw caution to the wind.

He smiles with the confidence of an expert mentor. Then that smile shifts into something I only barely recognize.

The playfulness that can come from sex with someone you like.

Romeo stands and takes my hand.

This time, he leads me into the bedroom.

The space is sleeker than I expect. Cleaner too. It lacks the lived in warmth of the rest of the apartment.

There's a certain practicality to it. A queen bed, white cotton sheets, a royal blue bedspread, a small shelf of books, a little desk, white shutters over the window.

He goes straight to the bedside table. Pulls out a condom and lube.

I love that I don't have to ask him to grab lube.

It's not that I'm not wet. I am. But I only get so wet. Partly from my antihistamines. But partly from my own unique body too.

Even though I know it's normal, I feel awkward asking. As if it ruins the moment. As if I'm insulting a guy's ego.

I like that he's not making a big deal about it. Or the condom. And let's face it—the condom means the lube is extra necessary too. The friction of rubber against flesh doesn't feel as good as flesh against flesh.

But then I'm getting back into therapist mode.

And I'm here to enjoy myself.

What I want.

At all times.

"Take off your pants," I say.