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The words should have made me feel something akin to joy. Finally. The thing I wanted most in the world was right there for the taking. Instead, I just felt numb.
“Was ready?” I repeated.
“It was supposed to be a celebration, Darcy.” His voice was heavy with disappointment. “A moment to acknowledge everything you’ve accomplished. But you missed it. You disappeared without telling anyone where you were going, and now there are a few board members expressing their doubts.”
“Doubts about what?”
He waved his hands. “Everything.”
“What exactly did they say?”
My father hesitated. “They think the relationship has become a distraction.”
“The relationship you arranged?”
He frowned. “This is no longer what I arranged.”
“I want to understand. You hired Beau to make me look more approachable. Now that the strategy is working, they’re questioning my judgment because I spent time with him?”
“Their concerns are about whether you’re truly committed to this position. They are trying to decide if you have the necessary judgment to lead this company.” He spread his hands. “We’ll have to do something to win them over. Another event, maybe. A public statement. Something to reassure them that this was just a momentary lapse.”
I stood there, listening to him outline the latest hoops I’d need to jump through. More impossible standards I’d need to meet despite doing everything right. I’d proved myself over and over. They wanted to move the goal posts again.
Something inside me snapped.
“Fuck their doubts.”
My father’s mouth fell open. In all my years, I’d never seen him look so shocked. “Excuse me?”
“I said fuck their doubts.” The words kept coming. I’d been holding them back for years. Doing this stupid dance and getting nowhere. Like a rubberband pulled too tight for too long, I snapped. “I’m so tired of this, Dad. So tired of these people telling me what to do. I’m constantly being told I’m not good enough. Smile more. Be softer. Show more emotion. Show less emotion. I can’t win. No matter what I do, it’s never enough.”
“Darcy—”
“I had a huge part in creating that collection.” My voice rose, but I couldn’t stop it. “I spent months perfecting every detail. I gave a speech today that had people crying into their champagne. The launch exceeded projections. And none of that matters because I left a party early?”
“It wasn’t just a party. It was your chance to show off.”
“I know what it was.” I was shaking now, trembling with rage and exhaustion and something that felt dangerously close to despair. “It was another test. Another chance for them to evaluate whether I’m worthy. Yet another opportunity in a very long line of bullshit performances. All done for a bunch of old men in suits to decide if I’m good enough to run the company I’ve been working at since I was a child.”
My father stood, moving around his desk toward me. “You need to calm down.”
“No.” I stepped back, holding up a hand. “I don’t need to calm down. I need to stop pretending that their approval is the only thing that matters.”
“The board’s approval is essential for you to get the position. I want them to see what I see.”
“If they can’t fucking see it by now, they’re blind!”
“Darcy! Stop it. This is business.”
“Bullshit. You and I know I’m being forced to jump through all these stupid hoops because of who I am.”
“And you’ve done so well.”
“For what? Why? So I can feel like I’ve finally earned something? I have to prove I’m not just your daughter but an actual competent human being?” I laughed. “If they still don’t want me after everything I’ve done for this company, then the question isn’t whether I’m good enough to run Corwin Gems.”
My father frowned. “Then what is the question?”
“The question is whether this company is good enough for me.”
