Page 32 of Bad Blood Panther

Chapter 12

Xander stood holding his mate, feeling lost. The anger that had fueled him and been his constant companion for three years had drained to a low ebb, like the tide going out.

It wasn’t quite gone. Maybe it would never be completely gone. But there was so much space where it had been, and he didn’t know what was supposed to go there now.

It was empty. Cold. Scary.

He started to tremble.

“Hey,” Jenny said softly. She was warm and real and there, and he had to hold on to her. She rubbed his arm, still wrapped around her, and leaned her head back against his shoulder. “Hey, now. It’s okay.” She made a little cat noise, one his panther remembered from last night.

He walked backwards, pulling her with him until they tumbled on the bed. He was shivering. Why was he shivering? Jenny pulled the covers over them and cuddled up close. Her cat crooned.

A tiny place inside his rib cage started to feel warm, way way down inside. It grew, getting warmer, until his whole chest felt like there was a marshmallow toast going on inside it. Hot and sweet and gooey.

Gradually his shivering subsided.

Jenny was all curled around him, naked and beautiful. He brushed her hair back, reveling in how the curls wrapped around his fingers. How beautiful the curve of her shoulder was. He ran his fingertips along it, dipping in the hollow of her collarbone, caressing the smooth column of her neck.

He moved his head and kissed her, right where her neck met her shoulder.

She shivered slightly.

That made him smile.

She pulled back, though, putting a tiny space between them, running her hands over his pecs, smoothing his bicep with her palm.

She wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“You’re thinking, Jennycat. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Jennycat. He used to call her that sometimes, even before he knew she was a panther. It just seemed to fit. She’d liked it then. He wondered if she still did.

“I do that,” she said. “The thinking thing. You always said I did it too much.”

“I said a lot of shit.” He ran his fingers through her hair again. “Still do. But maybe you should just be yourself right now, and tell me what the thoughts are, instead of worrying about shit I said when I was somebody completely different.”

She bit her lips. He could tell she was trying to be brave again, to look him in the eye, but she couldn’t.

“I’m wondering,” she said. “If you still want me to be your mate. Or if you hate me, like you said.”

Xander stroked her shoulder, trying to sort out what was going on inside him so he could give her a real answer.

The silence stretched out.

“You don’t,” she said, moving away from him. “Want me, I mean. You still don’t feel that way about me, even if your panther does.”

He caught her gently, before she could go too far.

“Don’t give up so fast,” he said. Her body went still.

“Look,” he said. “I don’t know what a mating bond feels like. I clearly didn’t know what love felt like, or I wouldn’t have thought I had it with Cindi.”

She gave a little snort.

Right. Idiot.

“My brain is still unspooling, with all the shit that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours. All I can do is tell you what I feel right now.”

He drew a line with his fingers, all the way along her arm, down her hip, and back again.