Page 51 of Bad Blood Panther

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know you didn’t bargain for this, for having a cub. He’s a good boy, though. Kind of a handful, but I’ll take care of him. Maybe Flynn will let me do some accounting here at home. I’ll keep him out of your way as much as I can—”

Xander turned around, his whole body tense. “You don’t trust me at all, do you?” he said, his voice low and angry. “Shit. I don’t know why I thought you would. I thought that we had something. I thought you were starting to believe in me, but—” He clenched his fingers around the edge of the counter. “Forget it.”

“I’m sorry!” Jenny said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, okay? I was just—”

“Save it,” he said. “I know why you didn’t bring him here. I’m crazy Xander. I live with all the other misfits and crazies, and I might go postal any second. Why the hell would you bring a little kid into this? If I had any sense, I wouldn’t want him here either. But damn, Jenny, it hurts. I want to be his dad so bad—”

His voice broke, and he picked up a glass as if he were going to throw it against the wall. At the last minute, he stopped himself, glancing toward the spare bedroom. “Fuck,” he muttered. His hand tightened around the glass until it broke in his hand. Blood ran down his palm.

He closed his eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths. Then he dropped the glass shards in the garbage, went to the sink and ran his hand under the cold water.

She could feel his pain, and it stabbed her in the chest. He wanted to be Brandon’s dad. He’d wanted to throw the glass, vent his anger, and he’d controlled himself because he didn’t want to wake Brandon up. He didn’t want to scare him.

He was trying so hard.

She picked up the dishtowel, then went to the sink, right up next to Xander. She wet the towel. “Here, let me,” she said. She took his hand in hers and gently wiped the blood off. The cut was deep, but it was already starting to heal, the bleeding almost stopped.

She raised his hand to her lips and kissed it. “To make it better,” she said.

He turned to her and sighed. He looked so sad, so defeated, it tore her up.

Still holding his hand, she said, “It’s true I didn’t want to bring Brandon here until I knew it was safe for him. Until I was sure you wanted him. Us.” She rushed on before he could speak. “But I was going to tell you about him. I started to tell you this afternoon in the cabana. Before Cindi came.” She bit her lips. “I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

He pulled his hand away and pressed the towel to it, to stop the rest of the bleeding.

“I get that part,” he said. “I do. How can I be a decent father to him? I have this kid, and he’s a fucking panther, and I can’t even teach him how to be one. I want him to be happy, and love being who he is, and how the fuck can I do that when I still hate what I am?”

He gave a bitter laugh. “I don’t even fucking know any happy shifters.”

Oh, Xander. Jenny leaned her head against his arm, her heart breaking in pieces.

“You love him, though, don’t you,” she said. It wasn’t a question. She’d seen it.

A little smile curved the corner of his mouth. “Yeah,” he said. “He’s so fucking cute when he’s a panther, with those little paws and all that soft fur. And I love how he knows exactly what he wants, and how he doesn’t take shit from anybody.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Yeah, give that a couple months and see how much you like it. He’s a little hellion when he wants to be.”

Xander snorted. “And this is a surprise to you? I wasn’t exactly mellow, even before panthermania.”

“No,” Jenny agreed. “No you were not. I always loved seeing you in him, though, even when it made me sad.”

“You did?” He turned to her. “I thought you spent the last three years practicing calling me an idiot, in case you ever found me again.”

“I did.” She hesitated, then stepped in and put her arms around him. “But I still loved you. And I wished we could have been together. Raised Brandon together.”

He closed his arms around her. “We can,” he said. “If you want to. I’m scared as shit and I’m probably not going to be any better as a dad than I am as a mate, but I’ll give it my best shot.”

They held each other tightly, swaying back and forth. Jenny felt something loosen in her chest that had been fisted up tight ever since she learned she was alone with a cub on the way.

Suddenly, she wasn’t all alone anymore.

Xander pulled back. “What did Cindi mean about Alton and this prophecy?” he asked. “Tell me about that.”

She sighed, and pulled him over to the couch. “You better sit down,” she said.

He wouldn’t, though. He stood, pacing, while she told him how, when she’d learned she was pregnant, she’d let Alton think Brandon was his.

“It was the only way I could think to protect him,” she said. “And that was all I cared about, with you gone. Making sure Brandon would be safe, that he’d be taken care of.”