Page 50 of Damien’s Mate

“About how in the wild, pollution is weakening polar bears’ bones. And polar bears have a little bone in their dick that helps it stand up.” Callie started giggling again.

Colt said, “So all the polar bears—” He held up his index finger and curled it slowly downward like a dick going limp. Damien snorted as Colt lost it again.

“Remy posted a link to the article on Squatch’s shifter dating profile,” Callie explained when she recovered. “And said how he’s sad because no women will talk to him, on account of they think he has a problem with his appendage.”

Damien was trying not to laugh because Squatch might find out and maul him, but it was hard. “So he’s not getting any dates?”

“No, he is!”

That set Colt off again. He said, “Remy posted the article last night, and the female pity party is freaking blowing up Squatch’s phone. And also, his email box is now filled with spam from companies that make devices for—”

“Shaft support,” Callie supplied. The two of them cracked up again.

Jaeda rolled her eyes. “I knew Remy was up to something.”

Kitty and Brandon came out of their suite on the second floor, both with identical scowls on their faces. When they reached the landing, Brandon stared up at Colt, shook his head, flipped him off and continued down to the first floor.

Kitty came up the stairs, pushed past Lila and Damien, reached up and headslapped Colt. Then she turned around and went back down.

“Hey!” Colt protested. “What did I do?”

“Coitus. Interruptus,” Kitty said, dropping the words like ice chips. “No orgasm last night, no orgasm this morning. I am in a very bad mood. And so is my mate. I’m going to need extra Hostess cupcakes.”

“It was Remy, not me,” Colt protested.

“You were both in on it. And you’re both dicks. Squatch is probably decimating my snack cake stash right now.”

“He’s fine,” Colt said. “You know he loves throwing people off balconies.”

Kitty threw him the finger and continued down the stairs to the first floor, where Squatch could be heard growling in the kitchen.

Lila turned to Jaeda. “His name is really Squatch?”

“No, it’s Titan,” Jaeda said.

Colt added, “But when we first met him he looked like a Sasquatch, so that’s what we called him. It kind of stuck.”

Getting to her feet, Callie said to her mate, “You’re lucky it’s not a regular Sunday, because you would so be getting Fuck You pancakes.”

“Excuse me?” Damien said, not sure he’d heard right.

Callie said, “Normally on Sunday mornings we have crew brunch, and Brandon makes pancakes. In the shapes of our animals, or sometimes dicks or fingers or F-U’s.”

“They’re kickass pancakes, even the Fuck You ones,” Colt chimed in. “It’s a secret recipe passed down by our childhood alpha, that Brandon guards with his life.”

He got up and started down the stairs, Callie and Jaeda following. He called back, “Today we’re just having regular breakfast because we’re going on a road trip. You guys coming? It’s gonna be awesome.”

Damien glanced at Lila. She really probably needed to spend the day in bed, but she looked interested.

“Where are you going?”

Colt said, “To the dirtiest town in the state. Penile, Kentucky.”

There was no way Damien was passing up a trip to a place called Penile, especially with these nutcases. It was bound to be ridiculously entertaining.

Lila was not about to be left out, so they both got dressed and went downstairs.

The crew was having a quick breakfast, everyone standing around in the kitchen/dining area. Remy and Titan were leaning against the wall near the dining-room window, heads together over Titan’s phone, both of them laughing.