Page 5 of The Merry Christmas Project

‘Sure,’ I murmured, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

But of course it did. Inevitably it changed everything.

Chapter 1

Merry

12 OCTOBER

As I’d predicted, everything changed : from that moment on the hillside, our relationship had been a ticking time-bomb. Although my proposal had been on the spur of the moment, as soon as the idea popped into my head, I knew that what I craved was the certainty of us. I’d needed to believe that I’d found someone who wanted the same as me, who above all else wanted me. Despite Daniel’s attempts to carry on as before, it was obvious to me that we couldn’t, that at some point, we would have to go our separate ways to have the lives we wanted. As my hopes for the future fizzled out, so did our relationship and by the end of September, we were little more than housemates.

True to form, I hadn’t planned the break-up; it just sort of came out all in a rush. One minute he was making a barbed observation about the number of cardboard boxes blocking the hall (I’d left it too late to take them to the post office) and the next, I was telling him of my decision to move out. I’d held my breath ; this was his moment to say he’d had a change of heart and that he’d do anything not to lose me. But he hadn’t tried to persuade me to stay.

It only took me two weeks to find somewhere else to live, which was why today, Nell’s van was fully loaded with my belongings, and we were turning into World’s End Lane, a long leafy road on the outskirts of Wetherley.

‘The thing is,’ I said, indicating to Nell that she should continue straight on, ‘that if you’re madly in love with someone and they propose, the only acceptable response is a big joyful YES. I don’t want someone who loves me just enough to tolerate living with me. Although to be honest, I think he was having second thoughts about even that level of commitment. I want someone who can’t imagine a future without me in it. And if I said please can we adopt this three-legged dog with halitosis, he wouldn’t even think twice.’

‘You’ve lost me.’ Nell glanced sideways at me, frowning.

‘Yes. I’ve lost Daniel too,’ I said with a sigh, not bothering to relate the animal shelter conversation. ‘Part of me worries that I might have thrown away the best relationship I’ll ever have. But there’s a little part deep inside me that says I’ve made the right decision and that’s the bit I’m listening to.’

‘Gut instinct is rarely wrong,’ Nell pronounced, slowing down to peer at the cottages as we passed by. ‘I listened to mine and ended up married to Olek.’

Her husband was a gentle giant who had moved to Derbyshire from Poland as a teenager with his parents. They’d been married for four years and as far as I could tell were still in the honeymoon period.

‘I still love Daniel. But I want an Olek of my own. We’re almost there.’ I pointed to the very last house on the lane. ‘You can go straight up onto the drive.’

Nell whistled as she pulled up in front of the very last house. ‘This one ?’

I nodded in confirmation.

‘It’s gorgeous, Merry !’ she gasped. ‘I love it !’

I smiled at my best friend, grateful to have her boundless enthusiasm to propel me into this new chapter in my life, then I looked up at my new home: a small stone cottage with an ivy-covered porch and a wonky chimney, surrounded on three sides by trees.

‘Me too,’ I said, bravely.

I brushed away the thoughts of the life I’d left behind and forced a smile. Today was all about new starts ; I was trying not to dwell on what might have been.

As if reading my mind, Nell reached for my hand and squeezed it. ‘You’re going to be happy here, I can feel it.’

‘Come on,’ I said, dismissing the prickle of tears in my eyes and pulling open the door of the van. ‘Let me introduce you to Holly Cottage.’

We let ourselves in and I gave her the tour of my new abode. Nell didn’t let me down, oohing and ahhing in all the right places. She admired the exposed oak beams, and the original flagstones in the hall, smooth in places where countless pairs of feet had worn grooves in them. Together we explored every nook and cranny, from the soot-stained stone fireplace in the sitting room, which promised cosy nights in front of the wood stove, to the deep window seat perfect for curling up on with a book. Upstairs the main bedroom under the eaves was pretty, with rose-sprigged curtains and a wooden dressing table, which we decided I could use for taking photographs of my candles. According to the lettings agent, the cottage was more than five hundred years old, hence there not being a single straight wall in the place. The house was on a slope too, so there were steps from the hall into the kitchen. I led Nell down them and she cast her eye over the pine dresser and the old-fashioned sink and dated kitchen cupboards.

‘I know it’s not exactly modern,’ I said. ‘But I like it all the more for its charm.’

‘Absolutely,’ Nell agreed. ‘It’s brimming with quirkiness and character. Suits you down to the ground. It’ll be even better once we get your stuff in here.’ She jingled her keys and together we went back out to the van to get started.

Half an hour later, all we had left to unload was the double bed. Holly Cottage was furnished, like all my previous rental homes had been, but I did have my own bed which I’d been storing in Daniel’s spare room. We were still dissecting my break-up.

‘He’s been really good to me,’ I told her, as we manoeuvred the mattress over the doorstep and up the stairs. ‘Wouldn’t accept any money for bills or anything so I’d have enough to see me through.’

‘It’s the least he could do,’ Nell said, pushing the mattress up as I pulled from above, ‘after the way he’s behaved.’

‘At least I found out before I’d got too comfortable living with him,’ I said, panting with effort.

With a final tug, I managed to pull the mattress onto the tiny landing and rested it against the bannister.