Page 38 of The Summer That Changed Us

‘Hmm.’ Finn looked into his glass, swirling the wine around. ‘There were twenty-five families dependent on the sea when Dad took over from my granddad. Now there’s just us. Callum and me. It probably sounds daft, but fishing in Merle Bay is part of our heritage. What if we do keep going and then none of Callum’s kids want to take it on?’

Robyn’s breath caught in her throat. The celebratory mood was beginning to disappear like the bubbles in their bath. She could feel what was coming; he had had a change of heart. She’d do anything for this man, anything to make him happy. But did that include having a child?

‘It’s important to you, isn’t it?’ She trailed her fingers through the water, aware of the speeding of her heart. ‘The continuation of the family tradition?’

He smiled ruefully and sank down lower into the water. ‘I guess it is. I must be more like my dad than I thought.’

A million things raced through her brain. She loved their life as it was. She liked lying in on Sunday morning, reading each other bits from their books or newspapers, only leaving their bed for tea and toast. She liked staying up late to watch a film or getting up when it was still dark to look at the sea shimmering silver under a bright moon. Doing what they wanted, whenever they wanted. It had been just the two of them for the last sixteen years. Having a baby would change all that.

But maybe change would be a good thing. Finn would be the best dad ever, she was sure of that. She might not have had the ideal start in life, but he was from a warm and loving family; she could learn from him. And she had enough room in her heart for Finn and a hundred children if needs be. Being a mother scared her but if it was what he wanted, well, that was what marriage was about wasn’t it? Compromise.

She took a deep breath. ‘I suppose we could do our bit to continue the McGill dynasty.’

He stared at her for a moment, his dark eyes wide. ‘What do you mean?’

‘We could—’ She bought herself a moment by gulping her wine, her brain not quite believing her own words. ‘If you wanted we could try for a baby. Start our own McGill family.’

He pushed himself up so fast that a mini tidal wave tipped over the edge of the bath. Water dripped onto the floor but neither of them commented on it. Their eyes were locked on each other.

‘Us? You and me, you mean?’ he stammered. ‘Start a family?’

She nodded, her heart thumping.

A slow smile spread across his face. ‘Is that what you want?’

Lying to your husband didn’t count if it was for the right reasons, she decided. ‘Yes. If you do?’

‘Sure. Why not. Bloody hell. Me, a father! I think I need another drink.’ He reached out for the wine bottle, topped up their glasses and took a swig of his wine. ‘You were always so adamant you didn’t want kids, what’s changed?’

‘I guess my main worry about being a mum was what would happen to my child if something happened to me,’ she said, feeling her throat tighten with emotion.

‘Like your own mum.’ Finn groaned. ‘Oh, love.’

Robyn nodded. ‘But it wouldn’t be just me, would it, because we’d be in it together.’

‘Always,’ Finn promised, taking her hand and kissing her fingers. ‘And I’ll look after you and our child. So, don’t let that worry you anymore.’

‘But what about you?’ she asked. If this was going to happen, she had to be sure he really, really wanted it. ‘When did you change your mind?’

He frowned, his thumb rubbing over her wedding ring. ‘Me? Gosh, not sure. I think it’s just crept up on me gradually. Being an uncle played a part; I’m surprised how much I love being with Callum’s two. So, yeah, I’m up for being a dad.’

‘OK, then … we’re agreed,’ she said, trying to ignore the fluttering of nerves in her stomach.

‘Today just gets better and better,’ said Finn with a cheeky grin.

She watched him get out of the bath and rub himself down with a towel. ‘Before we get carried away, I think there’s something I ought to do first.’

‘Oh?’ He held a towel out for her, and she stepped out, revelling in the soft warmth as he wrapped it around her.

It wasn’t only her mum who’d been dealt a fatal hand by cancer, it was her gran too, who’d died before Robyn had been born. Too much of a coincidence to ignore. There was genetic testing which could be done now, her doctor had even brought the subject up in the past. There’d been loads of articles about it, which Robyn had made herself read. She knew the facts: women who tested positive were advised to consider risk-reducing surgery in their mid-thirties. Robyn had opted not to go down that path until now. Her life was just how she wanted it to be: she was happy, in love with a man who loved her and enjoying life. But deep down she’d known the clock was ticking. If she carried the BRCA gene, her chance of getting breast cancer and ovarian cancer was super high. It was time to pull her head out of the sand and take the test. Because it wasn’t just about her anymore, it was about her children.

‘I should get tested to make sure I don’t carry the BRCA gene first. If there’s a chance that I could pass it on to our baby, we need to find out.’

‘Oh Robyn, thank God.’ Finn exhaled and looked up to the ceiling. When his eyes met hers, there were tears in them. ‘I’m so glad. I’ve always wanted you to take the test.’

‘Have you?’ She was shocked. ‘I never knew you felt like that.’

‘It wasn’t my place to say.’ He drew her into his arms and held her tightly. ‘It had to be your decision. But I don’t like taking risks; what we know about, we can deal with.’