Page 99 of The Summer That Changed Us

‘Talk to me,’ she whispered, reaching for his hand.

He rubbed his other hand over his face and gave a half laugh. ‘This is awkward.’

‘Yep. Totally with you on that,’ she agreed. ‘Meeting Grace and Katie made me realise how important it is to have people we can confide in. You and I have been dancing around each other not saying the things that really matter. We have to get better at being open and honest.’

‘OK, here goes.’ He puffed out his cheeks and then sat up straight to face her. ‘Every time we get close, all I can think about is how we would have been trying for a baby. And that you were probably thinking the same. Except in my case, I was glad we weren’t, which made me feel like the worst human on the planet. And then I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make love to my own wife. I’ve felt like a failure.’

‘Oh Finn.’ She reached up and stroked his curls, her heart aching for him. ‘I’d have been thinking about you and how much I love you. And how much I want us to go back to how we were.’

‘Me too,’ he said softly. ‘But the longer it has gone on, the worse it’s become, so now I’ve just avoided it.’ He took her face in his hands. ‘But it’s not because I don’t love you, or want you anymore, I promise. The stronger you’ve become since your surgery, the more pathetic I feel.’

‘You’ve carried everything on your shoulders,’ she protested. ‘Worrying about me, supporting us both when I haven’t been working, stress about the business … You’re not pathetic, Finn. You’re just human.’

She kissed him, sliding her arms around his neck, and as the kiss deepened, he pulled her closer to him.

‘Why are we only talking about this now?’ He murmured when the kiss ended. ‘All this wasted time.’

‘Because I was scared that if I asked you to tell the truth, I’d lose you,’ she admitted. ‘You looked so besotted with Betty that I thought you might swap me for a wife who can give you a family.’

He shook his head. ‘I’d never do that. Betty is amazing. All three kids are great. But honestly? The noise and the mess do my head in. Being at home in our cottage, just you and me, is my idea of heaven.’

‘Mine too.’ Her breath caught in her throat. ‘Especially our bedroom.’

His eyes flickered with a look she hadn’t seen for a long time. ‘You look lovely in that dress.’

‘Thank you.’ She smiled. ‘What about out of it?’

He pressed his mouth to her ear, making her shiver. ‘Perhaps we should find out. Right now.’

He stood up slowly and reached out to pull her up. Hand in hand they made their way upstairs. She kicked the bedroom door shut behind them, feeling heady with desire.

‘I love you, Finn,’ she gasped, as he slowly pulled down the zip of her dress.

His eyes burned fiercely into hers. ‘I love you too, more than ever.’

‘Show me,’ Robyn demanded, stepping out of her dress.

He drew her to him, pressing her against the solid length of him. She curled her arms around his neck, wanting to be close, then closer still. Her mouth dissolved against his and the rest of the world fell away. They kissed with an intensity that shocked her, as if they’d been apart for a hundred years. She had him back and she would never let him go again. Every cell in her body wanted to rejoice with joy. She ran her hands down his chest, then lower still and gasped.

‘Hello, sailor.’

Chapter Thirty-Six

Katie was the first to arrive on the beach at six o’clock on the dot. As soon as she stepped onto the shingle, she could almost feel her breathing begin to slow. The sun was still warm on her skin and she felt sticky and restless after the train journey. She kicked off her Birkenstocks and walked into the sea, gasping as the cold water took her breath away. She closed her eyes for a moment and stretched her arms out, grounding herself as the coarse sand shifted beneath her feet.

‘You look like a poster girl for mindfulness,’ a voice teased behind her.

Katie opened her eyes to see Robyn unbuckling her sandals.

‘Someone looks happy!’ she said, wrapping Robyn up in a hug.

Robyn smiled shyly. ‘I am happy. It’s been a lovely day. But tell me about your weekend,’ she insisted. ‘Mine’ll be boring in comparison.’

Judging by the bloom in her cheeks, Katie reckoned Robyn’s weekend had been anything but boring, but before she had chance to argue, another set of footsteps crunched across the beach towards them.

‘Room for a little one in that group hug?’ came a familiar voice.

‘Grace!’ Katie and Robyn yelled together.