Page 88 of The Sunrise Sisterhood

‘No,’ Liz and Skye said in unison.

‘I need to do something to take my mind off Adam.’ She couldn’t stop thinking about him: his muscular frame, those dark curls and how happy she’d felt when he’d smiled at her.

She’d had second thoughts about contacting him after he’d gone, deciding to leave the ball in his court. She was aware that she was backtracking on what she’d thought at the time. But old habits die hard; she didn’t want anyone in her and Ivy’s life who wasn’t fully committed to being there. And maybe she’d been right to be cautious, because he hadn’t been in touch with her since.

‘Talk to us about him,’ Skye said, passing her some tablets and a glass of water. ‘You can do that.’

‘Yes,’ Liz agreed. ‘You’ve quizzed me about Patrick, I want to know all about the man who’s got you worked up into a lather.’

‘Touché.’ Clare was amused by their inquisitive faces. ‘What do you want to know? I’ve already told you the gory details.’

‘You’ve told us the facts,’ Liz clarified, counting them off on her fingers. ‘Where and when you met, that you left the hotel without swapping numbers, and that by the time you found out you were expecting, you’d left it too late to track him down. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell us the truth in the first place?’

Clare paused before replying, getting her thoughts in order. That night after Adam had been round, she had given Liz and Skye the bare bones of their history and admitted they’d only ever had one night together and not a full-blown relationship after all, but she wouldn’t be pressed on the rest. She hadn’t been ready to let down her guard; but she was leaning so heavily on these two women in every practical aspect of her life at the moment, it didn’t seem right not to trust them with her emotions too.

‘Embarrassment?’ she admitted. ‘Shame, I suppose? Because I don’t do mess, or failure, or letting myself down.’

‘You haven’t done any of those things.’ Skye looked appalled. ‘I think you’re amazing. You’ve coped with so much over the last couple of years. A lot of people would have crumbled under the pressure. You’re an inspiration to me.’

Tears pricked Clare’s eyes. ‘Really?’

‘Skye’s right, darling.’ Liz gave Clare such a warm look that two tears broke free and rolled down her cheeks. ‘You have high expectations of yourself, which is not a criticism, but, sometimes, I think you need to cut yourself some slack.’

Clare gave her a weak smile. ‘I’ve always tried to show Dad that I could succeed at anything I put my mind to – school, university, my career. I’d assumed I’d be in a steady, suitable relationship before I even considered starting a family. Ivy was a result of a one-night stand and it was an unwanted pregnancy, at least at first. As soon as I decided to keep the baby, I thought I could only face going through with it if I had a good cover story. Hence Adam getting the role as the bad guy who dumped his pregnant girlfriend.’

‘And he’s not a bad guy?’ Skye said hopefully.

‘I don’t know.’ Clare shrugged. ‘He’s little more than a stranger.’

Liz raised an eyebrow. ‘A stranger with benefits. That’s a new one.’

Clare managed a half-smile. ‘I like to be different.’

‘He was a real gentleman at Angel’s party,’ said Liz.

‘I got on well with him too,’ Skye agreed. She pulled her phone out of her apron pocket, looked at the screen and put it away. ‘Right until the moment I punched him. Obviously.’

‘I’m not sure I’m ready to share Ivy with anyone.’ Clare bit her lip. ‘Although, as her father, I know he has rights.’

‘You liked him enough to … you know what.’ Liz couldn’t bring herself to say it. ‘So I’d give him a chance.’

‘Could you get to know him first? Treat him like you’ve just met,’ Skye suggested.

‘As opposed to being the father of my child?’ Clare groaned. ‘How did I manage to cock this up so badly? Also, I’m not sure that he even likes children. I asked if he’d like to meet Ivy and he made his excuses and left. I gave him my number and since then, radio silence.’

The three of them pondered that for a moment.

‘Who does he think her father is?’ Liz asked.

‘He didn’t hang around to find out,’ Clare replied. ‘He asked if her father was inside the house and I said no.’

‘That’s why he hasn’t been in touch! He’s assuming he was encroaching on a happy family,’ said Skye. ‘He’s acting honourably, that’s all.’

‘Send him a message,’ Liz suggested. ‘Tell him you’d like to talk to him and invite him over.’

‘We’ve got a wake for Mr Barton next Sunday, so you’ll be on your own,’ Skye remembered. ‘Ask him then and you’ll have the house to yourself.’

Clare mulled it over. Should she? It felt dishonest not telling him he had a child. It was one thing being economical with the truth about him to her own family, but it didn’t sit well with her to keep such a big thing from him. Then again, was she ready for his reaction – good or bad? There was only one way to find out. ‘OK, I will. Would someone mind passing my phone? No time like the present.’