Page 79 of A Merry Little Christmas

‘And my mum passed away; we’re half-sisters,’ Merry explained.

‘So you knew our dad well?’ Emily asked. ‘In that case, I’m really sorry not to have met you before. When did you last see him?’

‘Bit embarrassing.’ He tugged his beard. ‘We fell out, years ago. I accused him of stealing money off me. He denied it. We lost touch after that. I later found out that the thief was someone else. I’ve had that hanging over me for years. Always regretted the way I treated him. Then I saw the notice in the newspaper with funeral details. I thought, now’s my chance to make amends. So here I am.’

‘We’re glad you came,’ said Merry, preparing for him to move off. There were still other people waiting to speak to the sisters and Merry was ready for a sit-down.

‘Funny, isn’t it. I didn’t make time to speak to my old friend. I put off apologising, too proud to admit my mistakes. Yet now he’s died, I made the time to pay my respects. Ridiculous really. We should make time for the living while we still can. Friendship is a gift. We could have had fun in our old age, Ray and me. And now he’s gone.’ He pulled a hanky from his pocket. ‘Sorry, girls.’

‘That’s all right.’ Merry rubbed his arm gently. ‘No need to apologise. We all do things we regret.’

The similarity between his story and her friendship with Nell was excruciating.

His eyes cleared and he looked at her curiously. ‘Who did you say your mum was?’

‘Her name was Sam Shaw.’

‘Bloody hell.’ Dave whistled under his breath. ‘Now there’s a name I haven’t heard for a long time.’

‘You knew her?’ Merry gasped.

‘Oh yeah. Stunning girl. There’s a look of her about you, now you mention it.’ He shook his head in disbelief. ‘Ray was madly in love with her, but I didn’t realise they’d had a kid together.’

‘Here I am, living proof,’ Merry could barely contain her excitement at meeting someone else who had known her mother. ‘Sadly, she’s no longer with us. She suffered from—’

‘Depression. I know. I heard she topped herself.’ Dave inhaled sharply. ‘Terrible business. I can’t understand how anyone could abandon their kid like that. Still, not everyone is cut out to be a parent, are they? And it looks like you turned out all right.’

Merry was so taken aback, she couldn’t speak.

‘Best of luck to you with that baby.’

‘How did he know?’ asked Emily innocently, as Dave walked off.

‘It’s a mystery,’ Merry replied.

Both of them looked down at Merry’s ginormous belly and smiled.

Merry groaned. ‘Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, that’s what he just said. What if I’m not?’

Emily pulled a face. ‘You can’t compare your situation with your mum’s. This baby was planned and very much wanted. Your mum was young, vulnerable and alone. Besides, why would you listen to a man you’ve just met? Trust your own instincts.’

‘Hmm.’ Merry watched as Dave climbed into a waiting taxi. If only her instincts had more self-belief. She gave herself a shake and pushed the thoughts from her mind. But while Emily greeted Ray’s previous landlady, she reflected on Dave’s words about friendship. And Nell. And how they’d allowed a silly argument to grow and fester rather than sort it out. She had made several attempts to contact Nell to check how she was and to let her know when the funeral was, and so far, Nell hadn’t responded. The ball was in Nell’s court and up until now, Merry had decided to leave it there. But what if she was wrong to have given up trying? After all, she loved Nell, and deep down, Nell probably still loved her too. At some point, they’d make up, they’d have to; The alternative was to be like Ray and Dave and leave it too late. She couldn’t allow that to happen. All it would take was one more message from Merry, to show Nell that she still cared.

She was going to do it; she’d send a few words to say how the funeral had gone and how much Nell was missed. She opened her bag, took out her phone and stared at the screen with joy. Because on it were the words she’d longed to see: missed call from Nell.

Thank heavens. Thank heavens for that.

Chapter 32

Merry

Merry stepped into her father’s room at Springwood House and shivered as memories of her last moments with him flooded back. The air smelled of disinfectant, which was better than the musty stale aroma there’d been the last time she was here, but it felt as if her dad’s physical presence had already been scrubbed out. ‘I don’t like this.’

‘Me neither,’ Emily whispered. ‘There’s such a sad aura in here.’

Gail had requested that they empty Ray’s room as soon as possible.

‘I’m sorry and I know it seems mercenary to ask,’ she’d said. ‘But space here is at a premium, and we have a waiting list of people desperate for help with their loved ones.’