Page 90 of A Merry Little Christmas

Merry frowned; so it had been her sister she’d seen in the car park. She looked over at Cole, who appeared to be filling in a form and avoiding her eye.

‘If you have, so have I,’ Merry retorted, not knowing whether to be insulted or not.

Nell pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. ‘Sorry, sorry. It’s just today has not gone as planned.’ Her voice broke. ‘And I feel terrible.’

Merry’s eyes welled up with tears. ‘I feel terrible too. But at least you look amazing.’ Nell looked very put together, hair falling in perfect soft waves, eyes framed with long lashes, cheeks pink and mouth glossy with nude lipstick.

Nell rubbed the back of her neck. ‘Thanks. I thought I was meeting Olek, and I wanted to look my best, but hey ho. And so do you. I suppose you don’t want a size-related compliment, but you look pretty amazing too. You look …’ Nell’s voice wavered. ‘Ready to pop actually.’

‘Let’s hope I don’t pop today.’ Merry’s hand went automatically to her stomach. She was so looking forward to her massage, mostly so she could legitimately lie down and escape from the world for an hour. Her earlier burst of energy was disappearing, and her back was really starting to ache. ‘Because that would be extremely inconvenient.’

‘I guess so,’ said Nell, looking down at her feet.

The two of them smiled awkwardly and Nell cleared her throat.

This was awful, thought Merry. Normally, their chatter flowed as fast as a river into the sea after heavy rainfall, with both of them speaking so rapidly that one topic tumbled into another. But today, conversation was as dry as the desert. ‘This is so weird, you and me struggling to know what to say.’

‘Really weird,’ Nell agreed, shoving her hands into the pouch pocket of her hoodie. It was her best Sweaty Betty one that Merry had bought for her last birthday. Nell loved it and had said it was almost too good to exercise in and she wanted to save it for best.

‘Nell.’ Merry swallowed a lump in her throat. The last couple of weeks had been hellish without her best friend. ‘I’ve missed you.’

Nell nodded. ‘I’ve missed you too and I’m so sorry about your dad.’ She blinked tears from her eyes. Merry wanted to reach out and hug her, but Nell lowered her head, severing eye contact.

‘Yes, me too,’ Merry mumbled.

‘At least we’re agreeing on things today.’ Nell gave a half-hearted laugh.

‘Like we always used to.’ Merry tried to match Nell’s attempt at humour, but it felt false.

‘I’m sorry,’ they both blurted out at once.

They looked at each other and laughed in surprise.

Merry’s heart lifted; it felt good to be with Nell. Perhaps they were going to be OK, she thought. As long as they could laugh again together, all might be well.

‘This feels like the bit in Christmas movies when it starts to snow and the girl and the guy make up and he sweeps her off her feet,’ Merry said.

‘Don’t expect me to sweep you off your feet,’ replied Nell, ‘I’ll put my back out.’

‘Rude.’ Merry laughed.

‘Give us a hug then,’ said Nell, stepping forward and holding her arms out.

Merry stifled a sob. ‘I’ve missed your hugs.’

‘It’s no easy task these days,’ Nell groaned, trying to get close enough to get her arms around her.

‘Again, rude!’ said Merry with a snort, turning sideways to help her out.

‘Oh, darling.’ Nell pressed her cheek against Merry’s. ‘I feel so ashamed that I didn’t know your dad had passed away for so long.’

‘I sent you several messages.’ Merry frowned; remembering how the WhatsApp messages had definitely been delivered. The notifications had said that they hadn’t been read, but Merry had assumed that was wrong.

‘I was so angry, I didn’t open them. I …’ Nell’s chest heaved as if she was trying to hold back her tears. ‘I’m a terrible friend, I know.’

Merry couldn’t help but feel hurt. She didn’t think she’d be able to ignore messages from Nell, regardless of how things had been left between them. Merry could have been ill, or could have given birth. How could Nell have not wanted to read them?

She opened her mouth to say this to her but thought better of it; their relationship was fragile enough right now. ‘Let’s talk about it later,’ she said instead. ‘We’ll have plenty of time.’