Page 101 of Somewhere Only We Know

He looked sceptical. ‘There were lots of volunteers and he didn’t like them very much.’

‘It’s definitely the right Utt. But I’d like to say hi anyway, my name is—’

‘Miss Margaret,’ said a gruff voice from behind. ‘Welcome back to Bali.’

I spun around with a gasp. And there was Utt, standing right behind me, a big smile on his face, with a small sleeping baby in the crook of his arm. He’d hardly changed at all; a few more silver hairs maybe and less teeth. But still recognisable as the man I’d known all those years ago.

‘Utt!’ I exclaimed, taking his hand. ‘It’s Maggie, short for Magnolia rather than Margaret, but I’m delighted that you remember me. I can’t believe it! It’s so good to see you.’

‘Magnolia? Ah, I see.’ Utt shook his head. ‘Of course I remember you. How could I forget two love birds like you and Mr Jackson.’

He called over to one of the other members of staff, who came and took the baby from him.

‘We were love birds, weren’t we?’ My heart lurched at the men-tion of Jackson. Utt was the only other person I knew in the world who’d met him too. I wanted to stay in this moment and talk about him, reminisce about my month-long love affair with him.

‘Always volunteering for the night shift so you could be alone in the dark together. Utt knew what you were doing.’ He wagged a finger.

I felt myself blushing. ‘Oh stop … Don’t embarrass me in front of your grandson.’

‘No, no. Love is good, it’s good.’ Utt put a hand on his grandson’s shoulder. ‘I always knew this lady would come back to see us. She was so pale and serious when she arrived in Bali, but when she was here, she blossomed like a lotus flower, full of life and love.’

I felt my eyes sting with tears, amazed that he had noticed that about me. ‘I’m only sorry that it took me so long to come back.’

‘Don’t be sorry,’ he said softly. ‘The universe only shows you the right path when you are ready to follow it.’

His wise words touch my heart. ‘Thank you.’

He bowed his head. ‘You are welcome. I told Jackson the same thing when he returned.’

‘You’ve seen him again since that summer?’ I froze, every nerve in my body suddenly alert. ‘He’s been back too?’

I was taken aback. Jackson was an American. Bali had been simply one stop of his summer of travelling.

‘Oh yes, Miss Maggie.’ His eyes looked deep into mine. ‘For him Bali is home.’

Home.

Less than an hour ago when I’d inhaled the smell of the incense, I’d felt the same. There was something about this place that got under your skin. Of course Jackson would have come back. He had always said he belonged by the water. He’d loved it here even more than me.

Waves of regret washed over me. If only, if only … Maybe if I’d brought Brontë here, as she’d asked me to, our visit might have coincided with his and he’d have met his wonderful daughter. Deep down, I knew how unlikely that would be, but things like this did happen. You read about it all the time.

‘Was he … was he well and happy when you saw him?’ I swallowed, my mouth suddenly bone dry. Did Utt know where Jackson lived now? Did I want to find him? It would mean telling him that he’d had the most beautiful daughter, who’d made me proud every single day – but that now she was gone. What if he was married, settled, happy? What would this new knowledge do to him? Maybe it would make his life worse.

Seeing him again might make my life worse too, and that scared me. Right now I held the memories of our time together in a perfect golden light. Maybe my imagination had run wilder and wilder over the years and there hadn’t really been anything special after all in what we’d had. Maybe.

I’d never been able to forget the time we’d spent together because Brontë had been the result of it. But he might have completely forgotten the girl he had a holiday romance with many moons ago. The prospect of dimming the happy memory I had of him felt too risky, and I’d given up being risky a long time ago.

‘He has lived a full life,’ Utt replied, ‘and a full life brings with it many chapters, some happy, some not so happy.’

I nodded. ‘I can sympathise with that.’

‘Are you with family, friends, husband?’ he asked.

‘I never married,’ I told him. ‘I’m here alone, I’ve been travelling since the beginning of the year.’

‘No husband?’ Utt looked surprised.

‘Never been tempted,’ I said with a shrug. ‘But my life has been good on the whole.’