Page 100 of Breakaway Hearts

“I’m responsible too,” I say, not sure if I believe it, but I’m not going around trying to get away with things anymore.

“I know you are, sweetheart, but you’ll always be our babies,” Mom assures me.

“Jared used to call our Mom on Sundays, to check in with everyone, but also to subtly ask if this color could go in the wash with that one, or what temperature to cook chicken at so he doesn’t end up with salmon.”

“Salmonella?” I ask, but Sarah is laughing while Jared mimics her.

“He got there eventually,” Kyle assures me with a comforting yet sad smile, probably because he couldn’t have asked a silly question, even if he’d wanted to, since his mom died before he moved out.

“I can take care of myself,” Tab tells everyone. “And I am more than capable of educating anyone who wants to know how to take care of their clothes.”

“Don’t ask,” I warn Nick, and we’re all teasing each other, but it becomes clear to me that my family still sees me as a sweet but immature little kid. Not that I’ve done anything to convince them otherwise. They’re supportive as hell and I know every one of them would do anything for me, no questions asked, but I’m the fun uncle who dresses up and trick-or-treats, not the one who babysits when there isn’t an adult upstairs to keep an eye on things.

And Tab’s right, I generally don’t care what happens to my clothes, or I ask her what to do.

Her question about doing nothing and being a quitter has been in my head all night. Maybe I don’t just need to wait for Madison to realize she wants more; I need to show her.

By becoming a guy who is dependable and takes care of people.

Someone worthy of her.

I drop Tab off at her dorm hours later, then drive home and wave to Miss Mabel when I get out. She waves back enthusiastically, gardening in the dark, which is the kind of thing I would have asked Noah about once I got inside, so he could check with Savannah or something, but I now know our neighbor likes to be in the shade when it’s sunny, but under the moonlight when it’s dark.

For a second, I feel like that completely validates my family’s perception of me. But then, if my MO is to go to someone else to tell me what to do for life in general, why don’t I try that for Madison?

Tab was thrilled when I had us listen to the end of the game on the drive home, so Noah is either on his way to the airport, or sleeping on a bus.

“Hey, everything okay?” my old captain asks when he picks up. Probably because we normally text, and it’s almost eleven p.m.

“Yeah, everything’s good. I’m sorry to bother you; I know how busy you are.”

“You’re not a bother, Owen. How can I help?”

“I want to step up,” I share. “You were an amazing captain, everyone loved you, and I try to do everything you did, but I’m clearly not, because a bunch of guys are still going around saying I only got captain because my dad bribed everyone with playoff tickets.” I don’t mention that I’m not convinced they’re wrong.

I think I called Noah specifically so he could tell me not to worry, that he’s sure I’m just as awesome as he was, because I would believe him more than Tab or Mike. I am not at all expecting what he does say.

“So what if you did?”

“What the fuck, man?” I ask, then look over to make sure Miss Mabel didn’t hear.

“I’m not saying I agree,” he assures me. “I’m saying who cares? It doesn’t matter why you got it, it’s what you do now you have it that matters.” He sighs. “Don’t wait for their permission to lead. Just prove you can. That you deserve it.”

He gives me a bunch of ideas for things he either tried during his run, stuff his captain does now, or whatever he never got the chance to implement but thought might help.

“Thanks, Noah, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, any time,” he says with a yawn. “When you told me you wanted to step up, I thought we were talking about that girl Sav says you’re crazy about.”

I shake my head and laugh at his fishing attempt.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll respect that.” There’s a moment of silence, then he lets out a breath. “But as someone who might not be with the love of my life today if you hadn’t waxed poetic about baskets…trust yourself and let her see who you really are.”

“As opposed to the asshole I come off as?”

“You have a laid back, take it easy vibe. But there’s a reason I suggested you to Coach at the end of last year. You’re fucking loyal and don’t hesitate to help wherever and whenever you can. Guys look up to you, not because you demand it, but you lead by example. That’s worth a lot more than playoff tickets.”