Page 132 of Breakaway Hearts

“You.” Madison wrinkles her nose, and I’m about to apologize for the stench, but then her eyes meet mine like she’s terrified, like she can’t say whatever it is she wants to. “Popcorn.”

She shudders.

I can ask about it later.

“That’s amazing Mads, what do you taste?”

“Salty.”

Before I can question it, or the way that it makes her crumble into my arms, Ben comes through the doors holding my skate protectors. He looks afraid, either of me, Coach, or Maddie, and I’m about to tell him Coach can bench me for the rest of the season for all I care, but, “Coach says you can use his office,” he says with a gulp.

I nod, then he registers the way I’m holding Maddie and puts the protectors on for me, one at a time. When he’s done, I lift Madison into my arms and carry her to Coach’s office.

“Leave it open,” I tell Ben when he goes to shut us in.

I consider my options and decide to sit on the couch without putting Madison down, just holding her in my arms as she breathes in and out.

“I’ve got you, I’m right here.”

I repeat some variation of those words, over and over, until Madison is so quiet I think she fell asleep.

“How did you know…about the things?” Madison asks a few minutes after her breathing returns to normal. She has her head on my chest, tracing the outline of the C, while I run my hand up and down her arm.

“Katie has panic attacks sometimes when it rains,” I share, though I’ve never had to lead her through them, just watched it happen once. “Especially if she’s in a car.” Which is not ideal.

“Your game!” Madison says, popping up suddenly. “You’re supposed to be playing.”

“I’m right where I’m supposed to be,” I argue.

“Your coach is going to⁠—”

“My coach will understand.” And I’ll gladly take whatever punishment he gives me.

“I’m fine, you really didn’t⁠—”

I hope it doesn’t come off as pity, but I give her a look that hopefully conveys how very not fine she was, how she needed…maybe not me, but someone, and there is nowhere else I would have been.

“Madison!” Gravy bellows through the hallway before barreling through the door.

Guess someone told him where to find us.

“I’m fine,” she tells him, and if I hadn’t been with her the past twenty minutes, I might have believed her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were coming, I should have texted as soon as I—” he starts apologizing, like he isn’t surprised this happened.

“Study group finished early, so I thought—” She laughs in that way you do when something isn’t funny. “You should both get back to the game. You can’t⁠—”

“Game’s over,” he tells her. “I didn’t see you, or I would have come.” His eyes meet mine, but I can’t tell if he’s grateful I had her, or reproaching me for not warning him.

“Did you win?” she asks hopefully, with a quick glance to me I assume is guilt over pulling me if we didn’t, not a personal investment in the outcome, but the score is honestly the last thing on my mind.

“Tie.” Jason sighs.

I’ve never once seen Maddie upset over us not winning. I want to ask what happened out there, what’s going on with her, mostly so I can figure out how to make it better, but that’s not what she needs. I’ll ask tomorrow, or when her eyes no longer look haunted, but for now I hold her in my arms, kiss the top of her head, and make sure nothing bad gets in.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Madison