Page 30 of Dandelions and Smoke

“There’s nothing between Chief and me. It was one night, months ago. It didn’t mean anything,” I argue, but the words taste bitter on my tongue, and something inside me tightens at the lie, leaving behind a dull ache.

“If you’re going to talk out of your ass, let me know before you do, so I can get you toilet paper,” Tris says, leaning over my face and tapping my nose.

I shake my pink curls like a shield and sit up.

“Let’s just watch the movie,” I grumble, ignoring both of them.

Their gazes lay heavy on me, and the way they look at each other as if they’re worried—I get it. After today, I would be too. Hell, when Tris didn’t answer her phone after multiple calls a couple of months ago, I went looking for her, too. Of course, imagine my relief when I found her wearing Levi’s shirt. I was the first to know and the first to tell anyone who would listen that I was right all along!

When the movie ends, the girls leave, and I lock up behind them, ready to head to bed. I pad down the hall to my room, the colorful, mismatched socks that Emma got me making me grin as I tuck my feet beneath the covers. Blake texted to let me know he’s spending the night at Emma’s, so it looks like it’s another night here alone with nothing but my sound machine and all the voices in my head. Yet, tossing in my bed, unable to find any rest, there’s only one voice that keeps repeating over and over, and since I’m no longer able to drown it out with a new project or the excuse of reorganizing, I’m left with no choice but to listen.

“If that’s what you want.” His voice echoes again, loudest in my head, causing goosebumps to erupt over my body.

Damn him.

He uno-reversed me. I was trying to get him to say that being friends is fine with him, that it’s what he wants, so that I don’t have to confront the truth. I groan, tossing over again… then again with a huff. I should have known that when it comes to Chief Garrett Mason, there is only one truth that matters. No matter how much I try to deny it. What I want is to be the woman who spent that night in his bed, wrapped in his arms, feeling loved, safe, and more at peace than I ever thought possible.

“Yours,” I told him when he asked who I was, and lying here now, I wish more than anything that it was still true.

But would he still want me if he knew all the ways that this life has left me damaged? Would he still choose me if he knew all the baggage I carry and all of the ways that I’m too much, yet never enough?

I gave my heart to a stranger who felt like home, and now, if I can’t rise above my fears, I’ll be the reason that it all burns down.

SEVEN

CHIEF

“You sure you want to figure out what’s wrong with it?” Billy asks me as we wait on the other side of the window at our mechanic’s garage.

Hank’s Garage has been here since before I was born, and Old Hank has been around even longer. They tried buying him out when they built the Turtle Bay Townhouses, but the man wouldn’t budge, no matter how much money they offered him. It wasn’t about the money, he said. It was about the principle. This place belonged to his father’s father, and you can’t put a price on that. Whenever there’s a problem, he’s the only one I trust to get the job done. He’s an honest, hard-working man. The garage is always clean and organized, but the air never fails to smell like oil, gasoline, and fresh tires.

After leaving Rory’s place and getting glared at by Blake—a fun time all around—I had Billy meet me here with the rig since Levi mentioned we need a new battery. If my suspicions are correct, that’s exactly what Rory needs as well. The tow truck arrived shortly after Billy, with Rory’s Ford Focus in tow.

Today didn’t exactly go as planned. I rub the back of my neck, uncertainty creeping in about how we left things. My jaw shifts back and forth as I stare through the window at the rig without really seeing it. She wants to put what happened between us behind her, to act like it never happened, and it’s gutted me. What was I supposed to say to that? I can’t force her to care, but I thought I at least deserved to know why.

Billy’s hand stretches out in front of my face, waving.

“What?” I ask Billy, realizing he’s still waiting for an answer to a question I’ve already forgotten.

“Her car.” He points to the sad hunk of metal sitting up on the lift. “We could use this opportunity to tell her that it’s time to move on.”

“I think she’s done enough moving on for one day,” I grumble, the words leaving my mouth before I’ve thought them through. My face pinches together, eyes closing as I silently kick myself for opening this door in front of Billy. The guy never misses anything.

Of course, he sees my face and blows out a breath, face puffed dramatically.

“I hate when you act like you can’t be human around us, man,” he murmurs, quieter and more serious than his usual goofy self. “Life happens, and if you can’t talk about it with the friends closest to you, then what’s the point of having friends at all?”

“I’m also your boss,” I point out, trying to explain why I can’t go around sharing my feelings all the time or so easily be one of the boys.

“Yeah? And? If you’re asking me…”

“I wasn’t,” I interrupt.

“I don’t see how bottling up what you’re feeling is a good example of leadership. I get not wanting your personal life to overshadow work, but with you, Chief, it’s all work all the time. You gotta let that shit breathe.”

“What shit?” I ask, rolling my eyes.

“The massive one that’s following you around as if it’s stuck to the bottom of your shoe.” He wiggles his brows, impressed with himself.