Page 138 of The Sixth Fraction

I feel a tumult inside me that I’m desperate to calm. I’m desperate to convince him not to do this; I’m desperate for him to join me. The thought of seeing him every morning, every evening—of living in the same world as him, period, is a craving I didn’t even realize I had until he suggested it. But the thought of him leaving Dauntless against his will makes me feel a little sick.

And, a small, selfish part of me thinks, if I do this, it could ruin everything I’ve built. I have friends now. I have a place. I have purpose. I think of how I felt on the roof of the Hub, like I was my full self, my biggest self. It’s like I forgot that I’m supposed to be an infiltrator, I’m supposed to be trying to stop what’s coming.

And now Tobias is reminding me.

“I can’t ask you to leave Dauntless,” I say.

“You didn’t.” He takes my hands. “This is important, Tris. If I leave, and you’re the one who brings me to Evelyn, she’ll trust us both in a way she never has before. We can use that trust to find out what’s going on with the factionless and Erudite. That’s more important than my work in the sim room or training the next class of Dauntless initiates to be even more bloodthirsty than the last. If I’m going to feel wrong all the time, it may as well mean something. Isn’t that what you told me?”

I remember the last conversation I had with my mother before I decided to leave. How she told me that Abnegation would never be enough for me. That I’d expanded too much to fit into it anymore. Maybe it’s the same for him, too. Dauntless was what he needed, but now it’s changed; he’s changed. And all you can do, when you’re too big for a faction, is either file yourself down . . . or stop trying to fit into it.

Maybe he’s done trying to fit into this one.

“It’s time for life to change,” he says softly.

Shouldn’t life change? I remember asking myself, when I was still in Abnegation.

I want to argue that I’ve already changed my life. I gave up everything, and now that I’m just starting to get things back, I’m supposed to change it all again?

But the Abnegation in me—always there, no matter how hard I try to ignore her—reminds me of Robert pulling the chair over to the library window so I can look out. Robert, who would have chosen Amity. I got to find a place to belong, but Robert never will. And if I don’t find out what’s coming—what Evelyn and the factionless and Jeanine and whoever else are planning—Robert won’t be the only collateral damage. I’m sure of that.

“Okay,” I find myself saying. “Okay, let’s do it.”

He smiles. I smile.

“Yeah, all right.” He puts an arm around my waist and lifts me up, startling a laugh out of me. It’s so easy for him to lift me, and for just a moment I let myself think about where he could carry me, if he decided to. He kisses my neck, and whispers, “Let’s be factionless.”

Chapter 47

Tris

Later that night I go to the Museum to find Evelyn.

No one gives me a second look as I walk back through the main hall, still lit by solar lamps. I wave to Jove, who’s playing some kind of board game with some of the others, and she waves back. I walk around the corner, up the stairs, and down the hall to the Mender’s workshop, which is set up in a back corner.

It looks just like the old one, the walls lined with shoes, the racks of fabric crushed together above them, the worktable in the middle. In the corner Mae’s blanket fort is dark, and I can just barely see the shape of her sleeping inside it. The Mender is pushing a dress through the sewing machine, a lamp shining on his hands. Leaning on her elbows across from him is Evelyn.

He glances up at me and smiles wide. He finishes his row of stitches and steps away from the machine to hug me. I’m pretty sure after what I did for Mae, I’ll have a friend for life in the Mender.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Fox,” he says. “What are you doing here? Delivering some pilfered goods?”

“I haven’t yet graduated to pilfering, sadly,” I say. “I’m getting good at pickpocketing, though.”

“Better at shooting, I hear,” Evelyn says with a raised eyebrow.

“Had to be good at something, sometime,” I say. “How’s Mae?”

“Fully recovered, and learning how to subtract fractions,” the Mender says with a heavy sigh.

I make a face. I don’t think I remember how to do that.

“I’m actually here to speak to Evelyn,” I say. “If that’s okay with her.”

The Mender scoffs. “I see how it is.”

“Well, I’m happy to see you, too, obviously,” I say, my face heating.

“We were just finishing up, anyway,” he says, with a wink. “I need to finish this, and Evelyn’s just a distraction.”