Page 32 of Love in the Time of Wildfires

He released an impatient breath from his nose and held out his hand.

“Can I touch you?” she asked.

“I guess.”

She lightly touched the center of his palm, could feel the rough skin and callouses. “Does this hurt?”

“No. Why would it hurt?” His brow pushed together in apparent confusion, but it was better being perplexed than whatever dark emotion went through him.

“Okay, I’m going to squeeze your hand.” She slid her palm fully against his, wrapping the end of her fingers around the side of his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, which wasn’t easy when his hand was much larger than hers. “Does that hurt?”

“No,” he said, still appearing baffled.

“Huh,” she replied, ducking her head to meet his eyes. “I guess connecting with people doesn’t hurt after all.” She released his hand. “So what do you want to do?”

He looked down at the hand she’d been touching before returning his gaze to hers. His brow remained knitted, seeming more tortured than annoyed. “I want to go hiking with you.”

“Then let’s go hiking. Is it okay if I drive myself? It’s the best way for me to learn how to get around.” While she didn’t mind riding with Logan at this point, she figured the guy needed space and this was the best excuse to give him some.

“Okay,” was all he said.

They got in their respective cars and made their way out of Tahoe Central toward Twin Bridges on Highway 50. The trip was beautiful even while passing fire-damaged areas from previous burns. She tried to see past that, to see the greenery and how nature always tried to heal itself, refusing to remain a black char.

They arrived at the nearly empty parking lot of Echo Lake. The early morning was crisp and somewhat chilly. She was glad she brought a hoodie. The lake, though, was beautiful, more silvery than rich blue due to the sunrise and cotton candy clouds in the sky. River closed her eyes, taking a deep breath of mountain air. While there were times she missed San Diego, it was also amazing this was her home now. A morning as gorgeous as this made her feel like she’d made the right choice in moving here.

When she opened her eyes, Logan was walking toward her, adjusting the straps of his backpack. “Ready to go?”

“My friend said there was a water taxi we could take to get to the other side of the lake, just to cut down on some of the hiking.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’re running yet. It’s probably too early.”

They followed the signs toward the main trail, River stopping momentarily to snap a quick picture of the lake with her phone from the metal walking bridge. “Have you ever hiked to Lake Aloha before?” She rushed to catch up to him on the trail. The dirt path was obvious but narrow, meaning they had to walk single file along the lake’s perimeter.

“A few times. My dad and I used to go camping in the area when I was a kid.”

“Are you close with your dad then?” The question popped out before she could think if it was appropriate.

“Not really anymore.” He didn’t elaborate any further, not that this was surprising, considering it was Logan. “Are you close with your family?”

“I have a huge family that has always been big on being family-centric. We always get together for holidays, birthdays, weekends—any excuse, really. But I kind of like having my space. Don’t know if that’s weird or not. Also, I love my job and living here, and they just don’t understand why I don’t want to be there all the time. They were pretty obvious in taking my ex’s side in our split and think this is just a rebellious phase of mine. Even so, I do really miss them, especially my sister, Mimi. But she has her own family now, so she’s busy with that.”

Talking to Logan’s back wasn’t the best way to have a conversation, especially when rambling. Either way, it felt nice to get all her feelings about the matter out. It kind of felt like talking to Goldie, and maybe that was okay.

After a moment of silence, though, he replied, “Tell me about your sister.”

River smiled to herself. Maybe this was better than Goldie, because her squirrel friend didn’t warm her insides the same way. This felt sweeter and more rewarding, reminding her of the Logan who took care of her when she was sick.

When he acted like this, she wanted to tell him everything, and that couldn’t be good for her heart.

Chapter Eleven

Logan would never pretend he understood someone like River. There were parts of her that frustrated him. Although, these days he was also perplexed there could be people, like her ex, who didn’t appreciate the type of person River was. He didn’t know how to explain it. There was just something about her that was . . . special.

The fact that she was still talking to him after how he’d acted this morning—well, he didn’t deserve it. Logan wouldn’t be surprised if she never called him osito again and instead called him whatever the Spanish version of a jackass was. She was right about one thing. He was an animal and needed to be treated as such. Mostly whacked on the nose with a stick, not gently squeezed on the hand with her smaller, delicate one. Her touch was so warm, so reassuring, and he was a dry sponge wanting to sop up every bit of moisture he could. It had made him feel . . . soft.

He wasn’t used to that. Logan was used to the cynicism, the gray smoky vibes, and the general grit of the world.

She wasn’t that. And Logan wanted nothing more but to talk to her, to tell her everything, but the words continued to stay lodged in his throat. River said connecting with people didn’t hurt, but it felt like it could. It made him nearly break out in a cold sweat because it had been too long. He didn’t understand why she would bother. What gave her the strength to keep trying?